Gifts and Curses
by shedyourmask
Summary: What would happen if the one person you loved cheated with your best friend? What would happen if all of your gifts would turn into curses, and there was only one person to dig you out of your hole? Brathan ON HIATUS
1. My Worst Pain

**Gifts and Curses**

Chapter One: My Worst Pain

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Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. Nathan and Haley are going out, simply because he still doesn't know what happened.

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"Gifts And Curses"

Mary belongs to the words of a song.  
I try to be strong for her, try not to be wrong for her.  
But she will not wait for me, anymore, anymore.  
Why did I say all those things before? I was sure.

(She is the one), but I have a purpose,  
(she is the one), and I have to fight this,  
(she is the one), a villain I can't knock down.

I see your face with every punch I take,  
and every bone I break, it's all for you.  
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,  
still I will always fight on for you.

Mary's alive in the bright New York sky,  
the city lights shine for her, above them I cry for her.  
Everything's small on the ground below, down below.  
What if I fall, then where would I go, would she know?

(She is the one), all that I wanted,  
(she is the one), and I will be haunted,  
(she is the one), this gift is my curse for now.

I see your face with every punch I take,  
and every bone I break, it's all for you.  
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,  
Still I will always fight on for you. Fight on for you ...

I see your face with every punch I take,  
and every bone I break, its all for you  
and my worst pains are words I cannot say  
still I will always fight on for you. Fight on for you. Fight on for you...


	2. Holly Wood Died

**Gifts and Curses**

Chapter Two: Holly Wood Died

_Accidents out on the highway to somewhere  
They tell us about when we were young  
Rescuers working to clean up the crashes  
Before she can see what they've done  
Nobody told her she'd lose in the first round  
The last fight was fixed from the start  
Name's on her side walks  
They move through her body  
Like razors they cut through her heart  
Like razors they cut through her heart_

"Holly Wood Died" - Yellowcard

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Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. Nathan and Haley are going out, simply because he still doesn't know what happened.

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I lived in Tree Hill, North Carolina all of my life. It has always been the same, when I was younger that is. I was such a good girl. I did what ever Mommy and Daddy told me to, I did my homework, was never late to school. I was an angel. I had best friends, one in particular. Nathan Scott. He was so caring, never said a bad word, never did a bad thing. He was my first in a lot of things. He was my first friendship, he was my first 'boyfriend', my first kiss, and when we got older, he was one who I gave my virginity to. Then everything began to change.

Mommy and Daddy were never there, I loved doing boys instead of homework, and I could care less about school. Nathan did basketball, and cheerleading was my thing. It wasn't 'cool' to be together in a relationship anymore, so eventually we grew apart. I turned into someone that I hated, and everyone despised. But it was either that, or get eaten alive, and just so you know, I depend highly on Darwin's Theory. Believe me, I was the fittest in this kingdom. I was queen.

What I said was the law, that is until a boy came and knocked me off of my pedestal. When I realized that I was as human as Joe Schmoozer down the street. When I realized that I could be hurt, and that I did have a heart. Let me tell you, not a great experience when your boyfriend cheats on you with your best friend. Especially a boy who you think will never mean anything to you, and end up falling in love with him.

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I was going to go and give Lucas his book that he left at my house, kind of like a present. Well, I suppose he was getting a different type of present, just not by me. I quietly opened his door, and peeked in with a huge smile on my face. Then I heard a distinct noise, like a bed was squeaking. I though maybe he was sleeping, and then I heard a groan. And then I saw a light brown head of hair, of long hair. I just stood there, unmoving. I couldn't believe this. I was in love with this boy.

I think I made a gasping sound or something, because all of a sudden, they both sit up, and using the maroon sheets I bought him, covered themselves. I just stared straight at Lucas. The look on his face, was unforgettable. I turned my head towards the girl, and was shocked. This wasn't some unknown girl from a bar. Nope, of course, it had to be my best friend, Haley James, who I had confided everything with. Shaking my head, I just whispered, "How could you?" and ran out of his door. Not the most courageous thing to do, but whatever, my heart was broken. I ran until I got into my silver Beatle, and then I drove until I got to the one spot I knew he wouldn't even look to find me. The River Court.

I got out of my car and headed towards the picnic tables, and sat down. I didn't know how long I was there, all I know was that the sun went down, and the court lights came on. I couldn't move, I couldn't think. I couldn't feel. Hah, how ironic, that boy that finally started to get you to feel something, was the same motivator to help you stop. What a life I lead.

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There were millions of memories on this court. Some bad, like when Nathan eventually broke up with me, to good ones, like when I first met Mouth and the rest of the crew. I felt like I belonged. They didn't just want me for my body, or for my popularity. They liked me for me. They were part of what broke my icy façade. What turned me into an actual person, not a Barbie Doll. Resting my head on my folded legs, I let all of my breath out. Then I sucked it back in, I continued to do this, until I heard a very distinctive voice.

"Are you still doing those 'calming exercises'? I know something that will definitely calm you down." Hearing the smirk, I raise my head and retorted, "Are you still trying to get laid with that attitude? What would your precious Haley do if she heard you say that? I can just picture her now, 'Nathan, blah blah blah, how could you, blah blah blah, I love you, blah blah, I'm a backstabbing bitch, blah blah blah.'" Snorting I got up from my seat, walking passed him, I patted his shoulder. "Better get home to mommy, you loyal little puppy you." Then proceeded to walk to my car. School is going to suck tomorrow, and I could just feel it.

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A.N. Yay, or nay? Let me know what you think


	3. Trembling

-1**Gifts and Curses**

Chapter Three: Trembling

_Trembling, hold me now_

I'm torn between silence and violent expression  
tired of believing everyone wants to care  
and cherish someone I'm so scared of never having anyone

Haunted by my abandoned dreams  
Tiny voices where would be screams

Now be still, it won't be long

We will be together in search of a new life  
Striving as one in this world to find something pure  
I'm missing you now  
"Trembling" - Yellowcard

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Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. Nathan and Haley are going out, simply because he still doesn't know what happened.

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"Are you still doing those 'calming exercises'? I know something that will definitely calm you down." Hearing the smirk, I raise my head and retorted, "Are you still trying to get laid with that attitude? What would your precious Haley do if she heard you say that? I can just picture her now, 'Nathan, blah, blah, blah, how could you, blah, blah, blah, I love you, blah blah, I'm a backstabbing bitch, blah, blah, blah.'" Snorting I got up from my seat, walking passed him, I patted his shoulder. "Better get home to mommy, you loyal little puppy you." Then proceeded to walk to my car. School is going to suck tomorrow, I could just feel it.

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Remember when I said that today was going to suck? Yea, not even close. I had to try and ignore Lucas talking to me, and apologizing, Haley apologizing, Nathan giving me weird looks, and basically everyone in Tree Hill High talking about how I wasn't talking to Haley or making out with Lucas by the lockers. This is the worst day of my life. And to top it off I have 12th Grade Forensics with Lucas, Haley, and Nathan. What else could freaking happen?

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Remember when I asked what else could happen? Yea, well, let's see, getting paired up with Nathan Scott, brother of my ex-boy-toy, and boyfriend to ex-best-back-stabber, in our Forensics project. Fan-friggin-tastic. I don't need this. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs and going around the school yelling, 'Stop staring at me, you sick freaks!'.

Rolling my eyes, I make my way through the crowded hallway and out to my car. Hearing my name being screamed behind me, I walk as fast as I could, without looking like a weirdo. Slamming open the door, very quickly, I strutted to the car. Without any hesitation, I felt a strong pull on my arm. Turning around I barked out, "What?" and blew the hair out of my eyes. Lifting his hand, Lucas placed the blowing hair behind my ear. Jerking my head away from his hand, I glared at him.

"Cheery, just listen to me, okay? I have an explanation. I swear…"

Cutting him off I sharply said, "Listen, **Lucas**, I don't want to hear any of your pathetic excuses. I know exactly what happened, in fact I was in the front row. I don't need any of your drama, _comprende_?"

Seeing his flustered face, I coolly said, "Just let it go, you were an okay lay, thanks for the fun times. But you seriously have to move on. I mean it's not very healthy to moon over a girl that wants nothing to do with you. Have a nice whatever." And with that I turned around and, with a small (fake) grin, left Luke standing there with his mouth open. I should be an actress when I grow up.

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Laying on my bed, I just kept wondering how many times Haley and Lucas are both going to call me. I mean, come on, if someone ignores you, it's probably because they never want to talk to you ever again, right? Hearing the last ring of my 13th phone call from Lu- my ex-boyfriend, I rolled over and turned off my cellular. Going back to the same position I was in before, I started thinking about what all has happened. Then my thoughts went to a certain person, Nathan. Does he know that his girlfriend was cheating on him? And if so, how is he handling it?

Puffing out air, I let all of the bad stuff out, and all of the good in. I suppose I was really exhausted from my day of ignoring everyone that I eventually fell asleep.

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"Brooke, wake up. Psst, B. Wake the hell up, girl. Brooke Lynn! Ugh." Feeling a heavy weight on the side of my bed, I could tell that whoever it was that interrupted my sleep, was now laying next to me on the bed. It took me a couple of seconds to process that, but when I finally did, I opened my eyes widely, and leaned up. Looking down, I saw Nathan with the biggest grin. Hitting his shoulder, I leaned back on my pillows.

Turning towards him I asked, "What in the hell are you doing here?"

"Well, let's see, hmm. I have a certain partner in Forensics class that ran out at the end of the block, and oh yea, she got a new cell phone, so I didn't have her number. I decided to pay her a very overdue visit." Seeing my head slowly going up and down, he continued. "So, Miss Brooke, how are you faring?" He asked in an old fashioned voice.

Looking into his eyes, I silently said, "Not that great, Nate." Noticing that he had his 'listening face' on, I went on. "The ice queen has melted, well actually she basically crumbled."

Glimpsing into my eyes as well, he nodded and said softly, "What did he do to you, Brooke?"

Letting the first tear out, I croaked, "He slept with another girl." Then a few more tears came, and then some more, until finally I started sobbing on his shoulder, and Nathan was holding me up. "Why does this have to hurt so much?" I wept into his shirt.

"It hurts because that means you're feeling. You wouldn't learn anything if nothing painful ever happened to you." Placing his arm under my back, he pulled me towards him and situated his chin on the top of my head. Sniffling I cuddled onto his shoulder.

Quivering, I murmured, "I'm sorry I called you a dog."

Smiling he said, "If I remember correctly, I think you said puppy, not a dog."

With a slight beam to my eye, I replied, "Well, I never told you when I called you a dog."

All of a sudden, I felt a rumble, and noticed that he was laughing.

Gleaming up at him, I started to chuckle as well. We spent the rest of the day reminiscing about the old days, about when we were both happy.

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A.N.: I got 'Brooke Lynn' from General Hospital… I hope you guys like it.. Let me know what you think…


	4. Big Apple Heartbreak

**Gifts and Curses**

Chapter Four: Big Apple Heartbreak

_One night with me and I've broken your trust  
I hate to be the bond you know is gonna bust  
Hurting lungs from breathing sighs of disgust  
This can't be home anymore  
This can't be home anymore _

Now cold concrete blank walls are  
Staring into your lonely eyes  
I duck behind them and hope that you won't go  
And ask for answers to why I made you cry

I never wanted us to fade out  
Resting on a love that fell apart  
Where are you, I need you  
You still have my heart  
Still have my heart

"Big Apple Heartbreak" - Yellowcard

----------v----------

Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. Nathan and Haley are going out, simply because he still doesn't know what happened… when will he figure it out?

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Glimpsing into my eyes as well, he nodded and said softly, "What did he do to you, Brooke?"

Letting the first tear out, I croaked, "He slept with another girl." Then a few more tears came, and then some more, until finally I started sobbing on his shoulder, and Nathan was holding me up. "Why does this have to hurt so much?" I wept into his shirt.

"It hurts because that means you're feeling. You wouldn't learn anything if nothing painful ever happened to you." Placing his arm under my back, he pulled me towards him and situated his chin on the top of my head. Sniffling I cuddled onto his shoulder.

Quivering, I murmured, "I'm sorry I called you a dog."

Smiling he said, "If I remember correctly, I think you said puppy, not a dog."

With a slight beam to my eye, I replied, "Well, I never told you when I called you a dog."

All of a sudden, I felt a rumble, and noticed that he was laughing.

Gleaming up at him, I started to chuckle as well. We spent the rest of the day reminiscing about the old days, about when we were both happy.

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Alarm clocks really shouldn't have been made with a snooze button, because, seriously, who actually gets up after sleeping for 4 minutes? On my side, I turned my clock off and got out of bed. Spinning my head to the other side of the bed, I noticed that Nathan's side was empty. He most likely had left. Oh well, might be for the best.

Going over to my dresser, I started looking for clothes. I didn't want to dress up. I didn't want to have tons of cleavage. I simply picked a white wife beater with a black zip-up hoodie, jeans, and white and green Pumas. Carrying my stuff into the bathroom, I dropped them in shock. Standing in front of me wasn't just Nathan Scott, but a very naked Nathan Scott.

Backing up quickly, I slam the door closed and screamed, "Thanks for not locking the door douche bag!"

It wasn't like I haven't seen him naked before. I guess it's just different when he is in a private setting, and you had just covered him in tears seven hours ago.

Hearing his footsteps on my wooden floor, I look up. That little prick had the biggest grin in the whole world on. Hitting me on the head with his wet towel, I just glared at him.

Chuckling he asks, "What? New York, I thought you didn't know how to blush anymore."

Remembering how he got that stupid nickname, I rolled my eyes. It was after he found out that my full name was Brooke Lynn Davis. So since, Brooklyn is a major city in New York, he found it fitting. I just found it annoying. I guess you can say that we both love to create nicknames.

"Yea, well I guess I've changed? Huh? I have to get ready… are you going in with me?" Waiting for him to answer, I walked over to wear I keep my 'undergarments' and got a matching black silk set. I should at least have something fancy on.

Feeling his presence right behind me, I turn around. I almost fell backwards because I collided with his chest. Looking up, I see that his attention was on my lingerie. Hitting his shoulder for the millionth time, since we had met, I walked around him. Closing the door, I said, "Don't snoop around while I'm in the shower, okay?"

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The usual crowd was waiting for us, when Nathan and I got to the school. I suppose it was slightly shocking, as to what I was wearing, but they all knew better than to make a scene.

Holding my head up high, I walked straight to where the players and cheerleaders sat, with Nate following. The boys doing the manly handshake thing, and the girls were into the squealing thing, I truly felt sane for one second. That is until a particular backstabber came walking into the group.

I saw Haley approaching from about 15 feet away, and I could tell that just by the impression on her face, that she knew that her boyfriend stayed over at my house.

Seeing my smirk, she also knew that I loved every minute of watching her suffer.

Stomping over to the medium sized clique, she huffed at Nathan. In her whiny voice she screeched, "Nathan Scott, what is this rumor I heard about you sleeping with Brooke last night?"

Swinging his head towards me, I just gave him a shrug of my shoulders. Noticing that he indeed did look at me, she swiveled to face me, and shoved me backwards.

Hearing everyone gasp, I could tell that they all saw it. Putting on my bitch face, I walked up to her and said firmly, "Do you have a problem with me Haley?"

She replied after she snorted, "Do I have a problem with you? Yea, Brooke I think I do. You have no right to tell Nathan what happen with me and Lucas, and then to use him for sex to hurt me. Just because you're jealous because Luke thought I was better than you, doesn't mean that you can take away my boyfriend. Get over it, neither of them want you. Nobody wants you Brooke."

She couldn't see Nathan's face getting redder and redder. He knew exactly what had happened. Why I was crying last night, why I was so upset.

Sniffing, she briskly said, "Come on, Nathan.", and started to walk away. Taking in that he wasn't following her, she turned around with a scoff.

What she saw was pretty intense. Nathan was in front of his teammates, with an astonished look on his face, and myself in front of the cheerleaders, with a chilly look to my eyes. The bystanders all looked shocked. They heard a rumor that Lucas had cheated on me the day before. I guess now they know who the little slut was.

Realizing that she was looking straight at me now, I just shake my head. "I didn't tell anyone, Haley. I thought you should have taken the initiative to at least fess up. I supposed you will always be a coward, huh?" With one last look, I walked away.

I stopped next to my locker, and as I was putting in my combination, I felt a soft hand on the back of my neck. Leaning his head onto mine, he whispers, "I can't believe you didn't tell me, Brooke." Seeing my confused look, he says a little louder, "I mean, you had how many days to tell me. You saw me like three fucking days in a row." His voice continues to get louder, "I slept right next to, I held you when you cried. You could have had the fucking decency to tell me that you saw my girlfriend screwing my brother. Thanks for nothing." With that, he walked through the crowd and out to his car that he brought that morning.

Resting my head on my locker, I could just feel all of the eyes on my back. When will my life start to become at least a little bit normal? Or at least a little bit better.

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It wasn't until third block that I noticed that something was wrong, physically, not just emotionally. I noticed what the date was, and when I had my last period, and then I calculated how many days I was late. 19. It could just be nerves, I kept telling myself.

As I walked back to my class, I didn't know what to do. I mean, I could just get a pregnancy test at a drug store, or I could just go to the doctors. Or I could just wait until I got my period. Sitting down in my seat, I stared out of the window. English class was completely boring, and to be honest, I learned nothing the entire 90 minutes.

Slowing walking out of my classroom, I decided that I wouldn't be able to handle Forensics class, so I rushed my steps a little bit, and started walking to the bus stop. Nathan drove us to school, so when he left, he also took my ride home. When I saw the bus pull up, I ran at full speed to catch in.

Walking towards the middle of the bus, I sat and thought about what my options would be if I was truly pregnant. Sighing, I leaned my head back onto the window.

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I only had to walk about half a mile to get to my house, so it wasn't so bad. I unlocked the door and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. I then walked upstairs and went into my room. Slipping off all of my clothes, I put on a small tank top and my boy shorts. I wasn't trying to be pretty for anyone, so why try, right? Lifting my comforter and sheets up, I slide under and fell right to sleep.

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Buzzzzz.Buzzzzz.Buzzzzzz. What in the hell was that? I woke up to a strange buzzing sound. Turning on the light, I noticed that it was coming from my cell phone. After I flipped it open I saw a text message from Nathan. With a questioning expression I read it.

_B._

_Meet me at my apartment. Bring extra clothes. We need to talk._

_N._

Getting up from my bed, I walked over to my dresser and packed some clothes. Back in the day, it wasn't unusual to sleep over each others' house. Even if we were mad at each other, we were still available.

Walking into my bathroom, I packed any of the toiletries that I needed. Looking into the mirror, I noticed that I was still wearing my pajamas, so I went over and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. Grabbing my cell phone off of my night stand, I walked out of the door. Gotta love never having any parents around to question you all the time. As I passed the clock in the hallway, I noticed that it was 3:25 am. Yeah, guess who isn't going to school tomorrow.

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A.N.: How do you like the new chapter?


	5. Empty Apartment

**Gifts and Curses**

Chapter Five: Empty Apartment

_Call me out  
You stayed inside  
One you love  
Is where you hide  
Shot me down as I flew by  
Crash and burn  
I think sometimes you forget where the heart is _

Answer no to these questions  
Let her go, learn a lesson  
It's not me, you're not listening now  
Can't you see something's missing?  
You forget where the heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment  
You stay and forget where the heart is  
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay

"Empty Apartment" - Yellowcard

----------v----------

Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. Nathan just found out what happened, and completely blamed it all on Brooke.

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Buzzzzz.Buzzzzz.Buzzzzzz. What in the hell was that? I woke up to a strange buzzing sound. Turning on the light, I noticed that it was coming from my cell phone. After I flipped it open I saw a text message from Nathan. With a questioning expression I read it.

_B._

_Meet me at my apartment. Bring extra clothes. We need to talk._

_N._

Getting up from my bed, I walked over to my dresser and packed some clothes. Back in the day, it wasn't unusual to sleep over each others' house. Even if we were mad at each other, we were still available.

Walking into my bathroom, I packed any of the toiletries that I needed. Looking into the mirror, I noticed that I was still wearing my pajamas, so I went over and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. Grabbing my cell phone off of my night stand, I walked out of the door. Gotta love never having any parents around to question you all the time. As I passed the clock in the hallway, I noticed that it was 3:25 am. Yeah, guess who isn't going to school tomorrow.

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The walk up to his apartment took forever. I never thought that I would actually get to knock on his door. The things on my mind were just whirling around. There was not one reason that I should actually be there. Sure, we were really close back in the day, but now, not so much. He never stood up for me when his teammates were calling me a slut. He just laughed with them. He never protected me from the drunks at the parties. He just stood there watching like I was part of a bad car accident. Why should I even be worrying about him?

Sighing, I knocked on his door. It took him a few seconds to get there, but every second felt like a lifetime.

Slowly he opened the door, and peered out. He was dressed in his old gym shorts and a grey wife beater. His hair was tussled, like he had bed hair, but the bags underneath his eyes said otherwise.

I ducked under his arm, and walked inside. Sucking air between my teeth, I said, "Snazzy, Mama and Papa treated you really well."

As I walked into the middle of the room I asked, "So what did you want me for? Wanted to yell at me? Scream about me being a useless piece of crap?"

"Brooke…" Nathan whined, while rolling his eyes.

Snapping my head towards him, I sharply said, "Well, it wouldn't be the first time I would have heard it from you."

Seeing the look of 'could you just give me a break' in his eyes, I brushed the hair out of my eyes. "What did you want, Nathan?"

He was also great at playing with words. He knew exactly what to say at the perfect time. It was just so funny to see him actually hesitate, and not be so self assured. Smirking I continued, "Listen, I don't usually come over to some guys house at 4 o'clock in the morning, leaving the home, yes, but not arriving. So could you maybe go a little bit faster? I would like some sleep tonight."

I was about to leave when he finally said, "I was a dick by the lockers today. I'm sorry I blamed you, okay? I was just really pissed off, and with Haley treating you like that…" As he was rambling on, I tossed my bag onto his couch.

Noticing this, he paused briefly. "I need to know that you're okay. I need to know that what they did, didn't screw you up. I couldn't bare it, if what Haley did, what Lucas did, hurt you more than it should have."

I stared at him with an astonished look in my eye. "Nathan, the situation will never be okay. My ex-best friend, your girlfriend, and my former boyfriend, your half-brother, went behind both of our backs for God knows how long. They would have continued with us being oblivious to the whole thing if I didn't catch them in bed together. I'll be fine. I'm a strong girl, Nathan. I've handled worse. My question, though, is are you okay?" I asked him, while looking into his eyes.

He came closer to me, and placed his hand on my shoulder. "I'll be fine, Brookie. We grew up together, we know how to survive."

Smiling, he pushed me towards his room. "Now, let's go back to bed."

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The morning after hooking up with some guy would always be weird. You have to try and quietly get your things together without waking him up. But if you did wake him up, you would have to go through the whole 'Morning After Script', which entails the girl saying that sex was very good for her, and the guy saying that he would call the girl. Neither of which would ever be true, but what can I say, it's a thing called acting.

Waking up next to Nathan, was completely different. He knows me so well. He knows that I love to wake up slowly, and that I like cuddling, but not when I feel like I'm being suffocated. He knows not to talk about touchy subjects unless I've had my morning cup of coffee. He knows that he should get the bathroom before me, or he won't have any hot water left.

With Nathan, it's comfortable. I don't have to think a lot. I just am around him. He and I know when not to push, and exactly when to push. It's like we just fit together.

Turning on my side, I see that he's still asleep. Lifting my hand up, I brushed his hair from his eyes. Shifting a little, he lifts his arm, and wraps it around my hips. Opening his eyes up a bit, he grinned. Leaning forward his placed a small kiss on my bottom lip.

My eyes are as wide as can be. With another grin, he leaned in again, but this time on my top lip. Feeling myself start to smile, I bend forward and placed my lips directly on top of his. Advancing towards him, I position my right leg in the middle of his. My hand sneaks up and gets tangled in his dark hair. Slowly, our kisses begin to move elsewhere.

Hitting 'my spot' right below my ear, I felt my body get covered in goose bumps. All of a sudden, Nathan rolls us over, switching our places. Hearing my gasp as his hand grazes my breast, he freezes. Then he continues, but with more pressure. Smiling, I take his bottom lip in my teeth and nibble. I felt his other hand go under my tank top. Lifting my arms up, I helped him get my shirt off. He just stares after he notices that I didn't have a bra on. Reaching up, I grasp the back of his head, and whisper, "You've seen them before, Romeo." And then proceeded to suck on the side of his neck. He leans down and takes one of my nipples into his mouth, and that's when all hell breaks loose.

It was calm at first, but all of sudden we were just a blur of arms and clothes. It didn't take us very long to get our clothes off, thank God. It's really surprising how fast we got back into our rhythm. It has been, probably, about 3 or 4 years since we last had sex, but to us, it was like second nature.

Groaning, when I felt him enter me, I knew that I wouldn't forget this anytime soon. He remembered every pleasure spot of mine. He knew how fast to go, and how deep. After I climaxed around three times, he finally let himself go. Collapsing on top of me, I knew that life wasn't going to be the same. I was most likely pregnant from his brother, but in lo- I mean, now having sexual relations with him. Could this get anymore Springer?

Hearing the phone ring, and with him rolling over to get it, I realized that I spoke too soon. The ex-bitch returns.

----------v----------

A.N.: Hey guys, sorry this took awhile. And also sorry for the excruciating sex scene, but Brooke is a very sexual person, it had to be added. Thank you all so much for the reviews. I heart you guys!

People who are absolutely amazing, and should be awarded a medal:

kaleymac

TypoKween

kellocfan1

brucasscott

And also for the two that added me on their favorites list:

kellocfan1

brucasscott

And last but not least the ones that added me on their story alert:

TypoKween

shabbii

Maddy Madison

J-Marie

This truly means a lot to me you guys!

Lots of Love, Meghan


	6. How I Go

**Gifts and Curses**

Chapter Six: How I Go

_I could tell you the wildest of tales  
My friend the giant and traveling sales  
Tell you all the times that I failed  
The years all behind me  
The stories exhaled.  
And I'm drying out  
Crying out  
This isn't how I go _

I could tell you of a man not so tall  
Who said life's a circus and so we are small  
Tell you of a girl that I saw  
I froze in the moment and she changed it all

And I'm drying out  
Crying out  
This isn't how I go  
Hurry now  
Lay me down  
And let these waters flow  
Flow...  
"How I Go" - Yellowcard

----------v----------

Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. Nathan and Brooke reconciled, but now they have to deal with their exes, and of course the regular high school drama.

-----------v----------

My eyes are as wide as can be. With another grin, he leaned in again, but this time on my top lip. Feeling myself start to smile, I bend forward and placed my lips directly on top of his. Advancing towards him, I position my right leg in the middle of his. My hand sneaks up and gets tangled in his dark hair. Slowly, our kisses begin to move elsewhere.

Hitting 'my spot' right below my ear, I felt my body get covered in goose bumps. All of a sudden, Nathan rolls us over, switching our places. Hearing my gasp as his hand grazes my breast, he freezes. Then he continues, but with more pressure. Smiling, I take his bottom lip in my teeth and nibble. I felt his other hand go under my tank top. Lifting my arms up, I helped him get my shirt off. He just stares after he notices that I didn't have a bra on. Reaching up, I grasp the back of his head, and whisper, "You've seen them before, Romeo." And then proceeded to suck on the side of his neck. He leans down and takes one of my nipples into his mouth, and that's when all hell breaks loose.

It was calm at first, but all of sudden we were just a blur of arms and clothes. It didn't take us very long to get our clothes off, thank God. It's really surprising how fast we got back into our rhythm. It has been, probably, about 3 or 4 years since we last had sex, but to us, it was like second nature.

Groaning, when I felt him enter me, I knew that I wouldn't forget this anytime soon. He remembered every pleasure spot of mine. He knew how fast to go, and how deep. After I climaxed around three times, he finally let himself go. Collapsing on top of me, I knew that life wasn't going to be the same. I was most likely pregnant from his brother, but in lo- I mean, now having sexual relations with him. Could this get anymore Springer?

Hearing the phone ring, and with him rolling over to get it, I realized that I spoke too soon. The ex-bitch returns.

-----------v-----------

When I was younger, Haley and I used to always call each other on the phone really late at night. I remember the both of us just giggling about how we totally fooled our parents, and how they didn't know that instead of going to sleep at 9:30, we went to bed at 10:30... Wow, a whole hour later. Now 10 years later, I suppose 10:30 isn't really late.

Glancing at the clock, I noticed that it was almost 5 in the morning. Now, unless she really, really wanted to go to school early, Haley James would never be up this early.

Breaking out of my trance, I heard him whispering something to her. Slutty little hoe bag her. Rolling my eyes, I get out of bed. I suppose thinking that this whole 'thing' would turn out great was just a bad idea.

I slipped on my sweatpants, and took a sweatshirt from his closet out and put that on as well. I walked into his kitchen, and grabbed a bottle of water. Next to it, there was a refreshing can of beer calling out to me, but until I figure what this thing is inside of me, that would have to wait.

Twisting the cap off, I took a very big and very unladylike gulp. So what? I was thirsty, sue me.

"Yea, Hales, I'll talk to you later." After I heard that, I absolutely knew that whatever was going to happen in the very near future, wasn't going to be pleasant what so ever. I turned when he walked in.

At first, I thought that he was actually smiling. Walking closer I noticed that that was not a smile, it was a grimace. Furring my brows, I walk even closer and asked, "Want me to go?"

He hesitated right away. How could I ever be with someone that hesitates after a simple questions. Scoffing, I walk past him into the bedroom.

"Why'd you call me if you weren't sure, Nathan?" Not hearing a reply I continued. "I mean, sure it was fine at first, when we were just talking, but freaking aye. We fucking had sex and then not even 5 minutes later you're talking to the girl that boned your brother." I was shoving anything I could get my hands on.

On my knees, I found my socks under the bed. Shaking my head, I slid on my shoes. "You're a really great person, you know that?" I said sarcastically. Finally I looked into his eyes. He felt guilty. He still loved her. And he probably was going to get right back with her. Nodding, I ended with, "I hope you fall flat on your ass… again." With that I pushed my way to the door, and walked out.

I love being made a fool. Lovely.

----------v----------

Being a girl sucks sometimes. I mean guys don't have to deal with sleeping oddly on your hair, and have it turn out terribly when you wake up. Guys don't have to deal with sneaking a pregnancy test through the self check-out lines at Wal-Mart. They don't have to deal with seeing that look that older women give you, once they recognized what was in the bag. Fuck this shit.

I ran all the way up my stairs. I had to know. I had to either tell Lucas, or I had to find another way of solving this situation.

Peeing on a stick shouldn't be that hard, right? Wrong. You have to actually have to pee first, to get step one correct.

Okay wait three minutes to find out results. Sure, three minutes. No problem. Yea right. Since when did three minutes feel like 30 minutes?

Sighing, I finally checked to see if I was pregnant or not. If there was going to be a little Brooke Davis, or little cheating Lucas Scott.

As I looked down, I could feel the tears flying down my cheeks. Closing my eyes, I fell to the ground. For the first time in a really long time, I prayed. I thanked whoever was up there with all of my soul. I looked back down again, just to make sure.

It was absolutely, and positively negative.

Whooping, I got up and went to my closet. Brookie is going to get a little nasty tonight. Welcome Back Brooke Davis. Time to live your life.

-----------v----------

Here's a little riddle for someone… How long does it take for someone to get back with their girlfriend right after having sex with their friend? Why don't we ask Mr. Nathan Scott. I suppose, for him, that it only took about 6 hours, give or take a few. Well, whatever. Tonight I am going to party, and I am going to hook up with the sexiest guy here , and no one is going to freaking stop me.

I strutted up to the bar, and ordered three shots of vodka. I threw them back quickly, and decided to get two more. After I was done with those two, I turned around, and checked out my choices. There was always Steven, the guy that threw this party. But he threw the party just to get some ass, and I wasn't going to walk into that trap. I looked over to where the baseball players were. Jordan was pretty hot, but he just got out of a really messy relationship, and I don't want to take hand-me-downs again. Hearing a roar of excitement to the left side of the room, I look at who was causing it. Smiling, I recognized that it was just Tim being plain old Dim.

I walked over to where the party was even more exciting. Looking up, Tim noticed that I was here. He screamed out, "Brooke Davis, damn do you look fiiiiiiiiine." I stood next to him, and patted his shoulder.

"Don't I usually, Dim?" Seeing his confused face, I rolled my eyes, and said, "Never mind. So, want to move the party elsewhere?" I noticed his average, everyday horny look in his eyes.

Chuckling, I simply said, "Yes, Dim, I'm drunk and I want to hook up. Everyone else in this place is either a) dirty, b) attached, or c) a filthy lying cheater. So you up for it? This'll be a once in lifetime opportunity, choose well." I started laughing. I sounded like someone from the Matrix.

I suppose Nathan heard my laughing, because I saw him look over. Turning away, I said to Tim, "So, what's it going to be?"

It didn't take him very long to make up his mind. He grabbed my hand, and pulled me up the stairs. The stairs that just happened to be next to Haley and Nathan. And Tim just happened to notice that the 'perfect couple' actually came to the party.

"Dude, guess who's going to score with _the _Brooke Davis? Hah! Me, that's who! High five man!" Nathan did a very flimsy manly handshake thing, and looked right at me.

I stared right in his eyes. I wasn't going to be the one to back down. Not today, not ever. Smirking, I turned to Tim and said, "Let the scoring begin." I walked past the couple and went up the stairs before Tim. I could feel his eyes on my ass the entire way, but at least I know I'm wanted.

It took us a while to find an open room, but when we did, I walked straight in, and locked the door.

Turning to Tim I strictly said, "Here are the rules Dim. We can do anything and everything except for anal. I don't do that. I don't do love making, okay? This is simply sex. Actually this is going to be only fucking. Got it?" Seeing his 'deer in the headlights' look I sighed and said, "Look, tonight's going to be fun, for the both of us. Don't spread too much of this around, okay. You can say that you 'scored' but that's it. So… shall we get started?"

I took off my shirt, revealing my lacy black bra, and slid my jeans off as well. His eyes followed my every move. I walked up to him and took off his shirt. I was pretty surprised at what I found.

I knew that Tim was in shape, but I wasn't ready for his almost eight pack. I unbuttoned his pants, and pulled them down quickly. Looking up I could see that he was a little nervous. Smiling softly, I whispered, "Relax, you're in good hands." I kissed his shoulder and slid my hand down to where his waistband to his boxers were. Reaching inside I felt that not only does Tim have the right to brag, but he also doesn't brag enough. As I slid his boxers off, I could tell that my hypothesis was indeed correct.

Kneeling down, I took the head of the penis into my mouth. Hearing his groan, I could tell that I was doing it right. I was sucking him off for a couple of minutes, when I felt him take my hand and pull me up. With a questioning look in my eyes, he softly said, "I'm not going to use you for that Brooke. I want to be in you. I want to feel you tremble, and I want to be the one to make you cum." As he was explaining what he would do to me, he reached down, under my panties, and felt my wet folds. Sighing, I leaned my head on his shoulder. "Tim…" I whispered.

Chuckling, he clasped his hands under my butt, and lifted me up. Gasping, I could feel his arousal touch my exploding clit. I grasped his shoulders tight so I wouldn't fall. He turned us around, and leaned me against the wall. Feeling my hip dig into the wood paneling, I winced. Seeing this, he paused. I encouraged him by saying, "I like it a little bit rough, I swear." Smiling he leaned down and for the first time kissed me.

He reached down again, but this time to pull my underwear down. With my help, we managed to do it without me falling. I felt the tip of his penis starting to enter my tightness. I was about to tell him to stop and to get a condom, when he entered fully. Groaning, I never felt this stretched in my life. "Oh, God." Feeling his shaft enter even more deeply than before, I said again, "Oh, God!" He quickened his pace, until I couldn't help but cum. "God, Tim. Where have you been?" He gasped a slight chuckle. He picked me up from the wall, and then placed us both on the bed. He lifted one of my legs above his shoulder, and pushed in deep, really deep. "Gah!" I cant believe I just came, again. He thrusted in faster, and faster, until he finally came with a huge grunt.

It took us about 15 minutes to settle our heartbeats. He was still on top of me, but it felt comforting. Sighing, I thought, well this is all that I needed. I can not like this boy. I can not like this boy. I can not like this boy.

"I can't like you, Tim. You know that right? It would make everything worse." I suppose that through this whole ordeal, I became 100 sober.

"I know, Brooke. Besides, we weren't meant to be together. But hey, let's do this again sometime, okay?"  
Smiling, I nodded and whispered, "You got it."

As we laid in silence, I thought about Nathan, and how tonight was going to effect the situation. Lovely.

----------v----------

After I kissed Tim on the cheek, I walked back downstairs about an hour after I first walked up. The party was still going strong, except this time, a certain cheating ex-boyfriend was there. Just freaking great.

----------v----------

A.N.: Let me know what you're thinking... this isnt going to be Brooke/Tim... she just needs someone right now...  
By the way... who watched this week's OTH.. fantastic! Though they didnt add enough Brooke.

Lots of Love,  
Meghan


	7. Avondale

**Gifts and Curses**

Chapter Seven: Avondale

_If you're gonna rip my heart out  
Could you use a knife that's dull  
And rust in color  
Once I die  
There will be no way that you can cover  
That scar. It's hard, I know.  
And if I get a little blood on, you  
Finally the world will know you're guilty  
Know you're wrong  
Of taking everything you're gotten from me  
No heart. It's hard, I know. _

Mighty King of Avondale  
I just can't let this go  
Real life ain't no fairytale  
I just thought you should know

And when you're finished with the surgery, I  
Really hope that you will turn to me, and  
Tell me all about the fun you had  
When you were cuttin up  
You were cuttin up

"Avondale" - Yellowcard

----------v----------

Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. Who do you go to, when your best friend, boyfriend, and 'soul mate' left you in their dust? Go to Tim of course.

-----------v----------

He reached down again, but this time to pull my underwear down. With my help, we managed to do it without me falling. I felt the tip of his penis starting to enter my tightness. I was about to tell him to stop and to get a condom, when he entered fully. Groaning, I never felt this stretched in my life. "Oh, God." Feeling his shaft enter even more deeply than before, I said again, "Oh, God!" He quickened his pace, until I couldn't help but cum. "God, Tim. Where have you been?" He gasped a slight chuckle. He picked me up from the wall, and then placed us both on the bed. He lifted one of my legs above his shoulder, and pushed in deep, really deep. "Gah!" I cant believe I just came, again. He thrusted in faster, and faster, until he finally came with a huge grunt.

It took us about 15 minutes to settle our heartbeats. He was still on top of me, but it felt comforting. Sighing, I thought, well this is all that I needed. I can not like this boy. I can not like this boy. I can not like this boy.

"I can't like you, Tim. You know that right? It would make everything worse." I suppose that through this whole ordeal, I became 100 sober.

"I know, Brooke. Besides, we weren't meant to be together. But hey, let's do this again sometime, okay?"  
Smiling, I nodded and whispered, "You got it."

As we laid in silence, I thought about Nathan, and how tonight was going to effect the situation. Lovely.

----------v----------

After I kissed Tim on the cheek, I walked back downstairs about an hour after I first walked up. The party was still going strong, except this time, a certain cheating ex-boyfriend was there. Just freaking great.

----------v----------

Lucas noticed, right away, my sweaty, flushed after-sex face. I could tell, just by a look in his eyes, how disappointed he was. Looking anywhere but Lucas, I walked past the cheaters and went to go get another drink. I would need one if I was going to survive the rest of the party.

After ordering a couple of shots, again, of vodka, I looked around to see if there were anyone to talk to. In one corner I saw Tim talking to his buddies looking all happy and proud of himself. Chuckling, I turned to get my drinks. Plural. After I shot them back, I went back to looking around.

Sitting on the couch was none other than Jake Jageilski. Our fathers worked together when we were younger, so we used to hang out all of the time. Actually Jake Nathan and I were the best of friends.

Jake got this girl, Nikki, pregnant about two years ago. He had a beautiful daughter named Jenny, and to me, it looks as if he was truly happy. I guess Nikki left the baby with Jake, and just ran off.

Walking over to where Jake was sitting, I plopped down, and smiled over. He looked over and just chuckled.

"Still doing the average Brooke stuff?" He used to always comment about how easy I was becoming. It was actually was part of what broke us apart.

Dryly, I laughed. "You know it. So, why are you out tonight?" I placed my right leg under my left one.

"The parentals are actually taking care of Jenny for once, so I had the night off." He took a sip from his beer can.

"Call me up, and I'll baby-sit her, you know that Jake."

Scoffing, he shook his head. "Sure, when are you going to do that, Brooke? Watch Jenny while you're screwing some guy on my couch?" Ouch, okay that hurt a little bit.

"Thanks, Jake. That might be the kindest thing you've said to me." I said bitterly. I reached over and took his can. After taking a very unladylike swig from it, I replaced in his hand.

"You still keeping her a secret?" I could tell that my question hit something.

"You know, I once thought that you turned over a new leaf. How wrong was I, Brooke? Are you still the same selfish hateful bitch that you've always been? God, no wonder Lucas went to Haley, you probably gave him freezer burn." With that, he got off the couch, and walked out of the house.

I sat there awhile, trying to figure out what to do after that exciting conversation.

Suddenly, a very drunk voice said, "Ding, Ding, Ding! We finally have a winner." Turning around, I saw Lucas stumbling over to the couch.

"Geez, that Jake is such a smart man!" He voice continued to get louder and louder. I swiveled around, and saw that almost everyone was staring at us.

Whispering, I asked, "What are you doing, Lucas?" He was right next to the couch when I asked him that.

Laughing he replied, "I'm finally telling everyone what they want to hear, Brookie!"

I saw Nathan and Haley pause their conversation to listen to ours. Closing my eyes, I softly pleaded, "Not here, Lucas. Please, just not here."

Being the selfish prick that he was, he just kept on going.

"No, they all want to know why I slept with someone else. Why I didn't want you anymore. Why I threw you away." He started chuckling some more, and I could just feel my cheeks flame.

"You're drunk, Lucas. Leave it alone. You've done enough!" I could feel my defense just overflow. I couldn't let him do this any longer.

"I was bored Brooke. You bored me. I wanted something hot and feisty. You were just cold and plain. Sure, you were great in bed. Most everyone in this room knows that. Right Tim?"

Looking up, Tim just had a very ashamed look on his face. Shaking his head he just said, "Luke, maybe you should go home?"

"Home? Why would I want to do that? Haley here can tell you exactly why I slept with her. Brooke absolutely and positively emotionless. Come on, Hales, tell everyone here what you told me."

I suppose Haley was a little embarrassed to be put in the spot light, so she just kept her mouth shut.

"She told me that Brooke Lynn Davis didn't have a soul. That she never cried. That she loved to make others feel pain. Isn't that right, Hales?"

How could he do this to me? I wasn't the one who cheated. I wasn't the one ripping out hearts and stomping on them.

"Are you finished?" That stopped his tirade.

"Finished? I'm not even close, darlin'"

Interrupting him, I finally said, "Just stop Scott. It's useless. Everyone here knows that I'm the Ice Queen. Everyone knows that I loved to lessen others. So what? It's old news. You will never be a hero for breaking me down. No one will look up to you and say 'Oh wow, he cheated on his girlfriend, but because she's a heartless bitch, it's okay.' They will never say that. You will always and forever be in the wrong."  
I got up and began to walk to the door. With a final thought, I stopped and said, "Who's alone now, though Lucas? Seems to me that Haley's with Nathan still. Poor baby." I nodded over to Tim, who nodded back, and walked out. Our altercation left multiple mouths open, and left many people shocked. Welcome to my life. I can't wait to graduate.

----------v----------

I couldn't stand the silence. I couldn't stand my walls staring at me. Shoving the blankets off, I walked downstairs, and went into the kitchen. I roughly opened the refrigerator door. Screaming, when I found nothing in it, I slammed the door closed.

I marched to the bathroom, and rummaged through the cabinets. Finding what I needed, I popped one Lexapro. Ever since I was twelve I had really bad anxiety. It used to be so bad that in the middle of class, I would have panic attacks. It had gotten a lot better when I got older. I stopped taking them daily, but when I have these attacks I needed something to cool it down.

Lucas never knew this side of me. He never knew. He will never know.

I usually kept this part of my life a secret. I didn't need others passing around that Brooke Davis was a pill popper, be it only an anxiety medication. It would ruin my reputation.

Sighing, I slowly walked back upstairs and covered back up in bed. I rolled over, and turned off the light.

I laid in bed for awhile, trying to think of ways to survive tomorrow at school. I'm going to have to become the old Brooke again. I'm going to become the Ice Queen again. I'm going to become that cold bitch Lucas was talking about. It's what saved me before, and it'll save me again.

----------v----------

A.N.: No sex in this chappie! By the way, Lexapro is a very non-addicting anti-depressant, I don't own it.

Thanks to the new people that added me to their favorite list:

Kaleymac

Brucasscott

And thanks for the comments:

TypoKween

Kaleymac

Maddie Maddison

Kellocfan1

TypoKween

Kellocfan1

You guys are so great to me!

Lots of Love,  
Meghan


	8. Rough Draft

**Gifts and Curses**

Chapter Eight: Rough Draft

_I'm breathing in your skin tonight  
Quiet is my loudest cry  
Wouldn't wanna wake the eyes that make me melt inside  
And if it's healthier to leave you be  
may a sickness come and set me free  
Kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me _

I'm finding my own words, my own little stage  
my own epic drama, my own scripted page  
I'll send you the rough draft, I'll seal it with tears  
Maybe you'll read it and I'll reappear  
From the start it was shaky and the characters rash,  
A nice setting for heartache where emotions come last  
All I have deep inside, to overcome this desire  
are friendly intentions and fair-weather smiles

"Rough Draft" - Yellowcard

----------v-----------

Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. School is going to be different. Home is going to be different. Brooke is definitely going to be different.

----------v-----------

"Haley told me that Brooke Lynn Davis didn't have a soul. That she never cried. That she loved to make others feel pain. Isn't that right, Hales?"

How could he do this to me? I wasn't the one who cheated. I wasn't the one ripping out hearts and stomping on them.

"Are you finished?" That stopped his tirade.

"Finished? I'm not even close, darlin'"

Interrupting him, I finally said, "Just stop Scott. It's useless. Everyone here knows that I'm the Ice Queen. Everyone knows that I loved to lessen others. So what? It's old news. You will never be a hero for breaking me down. No one will look up to you and say 'Oh wow, he cheated on his girlfriend, but because she's a heartless bitch, it's okay.' They will never say that. You will always and forever be in the wrong."  
I got up and began to walk to the door. With a final thought, I stopped and said, "Who's alone now, though Lucas? Seems to me that Haley's with Nathan still. Poor baby." I nodded over to Tim, who nodded back, and walked out. Our altercation left multiple mouths open, and left many people shocked. Welcome to my life. I can't wait to graduate.

----------v----------

I couldn't stand the silence. I couldn't stand my walls staring at me. Shoving the blankets off, I walked downstairs, and went into the kitchen. I roughly opened the refrigerator door. Screaming, when I found nothing in it, I slammed the door closed.

I marched to the bathroom, and rummaged through the cabinets. Finding what I needed, I popped one Lexapro. Ever since I was twelve I had really bad anxiety. It used to be so bad that in the middle of class, I would have panic attacks. It had gotten a lot better when I got older. I stopped taking them daily, but when I have these attacks I needed something to cool it down.

Lucas never knew this side of me. He never knew. He will never know.

I usually kept this part of my life a secret. I didn't need others passing around that Brooke Davis was a pill popper, be it only an anxiety medication. It would ruin my reputation.

Sighing, I slowly walked back upstairs and covered back up in bed. I rolled over, and turned off the light.

I laid in bed for awhile, trying to think of ways to survive tomorrow at school. I'm going to have to become the old Brooke again. I'm going to become the Ice Queen again. I'm going to become that cold bitch Lucas was talking about. It's what saved me before, and it'll save me again.

----------v----------

"Get the fuck out of the way!" Okay so I wasn't having the best day in the world. But I mean, could you blame me? In a matter of seconds my life was flipped upside-down and now I have absolutely no friends, what-so-ever. So what if I take out my aggression on other under-classmen… it's what they're there for.

Sauntering over to my locker, I opened it roughly, got my books out, and slammed it closed. Fortunately my English class was right next to my locker so I didn't have to walk the halls again.

Opening the classroom doors, I noticed that the only seat was next to Tim. Sighing, I strolled over. I hate doing the morning after thing in school, it gets distracting. Sitting down, I crossed my legs, and waited until he said something.

Finally hearing my name, I turned to him.

"Hey, are you okay after last night? Luke was a dick." He had a concerned face on for once. I would have suspected a 'hey lets go into the janitor's closet and have sex'.

"Tim, I'm fine. I've been through worse."

Nodding, he turns back to the notes he was looking over. We had a test on Lord of the Flies, I guess. Oh well, I never need to study. Unlike some people, I actually read the books, but just don't tell anyone that.

To be honest, LotF was a really good book. It reminded me a lot of school mannerisms. It talked about how society shelters and coddles man's natural malice. Seem familiar?

I took out the book, and pretended to study.

Our teacher walked, and had the biggest smile on his face. When someone asked what it was about, he said, "My baby was born on Saturday." We found out that his girlfriend had a baby boy named Geoffrey Nicholas and was 7 lbs. 6 oz.. I was really happy for him.

Hearing this news however, made me think of my semi-baby, that I might have had. Would I have been as happy as he was? Would I have that glow that he had?

Shaking my head of those thoughts, I paid attention to what he was saying. Mr. Meza was explaining how the test was going to go, and what was in each section. As I listened, I knew that I would have no problem.

See, everyone thinks that I'm just a big, heartless whore, that cares nothing about her studies. Sure I don't pay attention to anything that was happening in school, but I'm not stupid. I'm on the High Honor Roll. I get A's, some B's. I have a 4.5 GPA, I'm not your average and stereotypical cheerleader.

My thoughts were interrupted as Mr. Meza placed the test in front of me. I lifted my pen, and I began.

----------v----------

I skipped my last block, because I told my teacher that I had to get something together for cheerleading. I actually just didn't want to face Lucas in that class.

I was lucky the entire day though. I briefly saw Nathan and Haley in Forensics but they didn't say anything. Lucas was avoiding me and I was happy about it.

I walked into the girls' locker room, and changed into my practice clothes. We had practice right after school so I thought I might as well warm up… for an hour and a half.

I started by running ten laps around the gym. I then did some curls and some pushups. I don't usually exercise all that often. I never had time, but since I didn't really have an distractions anymore, might as well start.

I was doing more laps when the bell rang, and the other cheerleaders walked in. I nodded to them when they smiled at me.

When I saw a couple of the girls snickering, I gave them a look that meant that this practice was going to be especially hard. Smirking, I walked into the middle of the oblong circle.

"Okay, ladies. Let's do some laps, maybe you wont be laughing after hmm… let's say… 16 laps?" Hearing some groans, I added, "Not enough? Make it 20." Five miles.

Grumbling, they started jogging. I heard a few call me a 'cheer-Nazi'. I started chuckling, and went and joined them.

"Come on, if I can do it, then you most certainly can."

All I can say was, what a practice.

-----------v-----------

Unlocking my front door, I placed my gym bag by the coat tree. Stretching my calve muscles, I slowly walked back into the kitchen. Opening the fridge, I took out an energy drink. Placing that on the counter, I went into the bathroom and took my medicine.

After, I walked upstairs to my room, and walked into my bathroom. As I ran the bath, I stripped down and then got in.

The hot water felt incredible to my sore body. Sighing, I slid in further. I soaked for a little bit, and then shaved, and then washed my hair. I loved baths. It took out all of the tension from your body just for a bit, and for that brief moment, made you feel normal. Snorting, yea right, me normal? Never.

----------v----------

A.N.: Hey guys! Any input as to what should happen in the later chapters?

Thanks goes to…

Kellocfan1

TypoKween

Oh, and also, if you don't like the shipper, why would you even read the story? For future reference… don't tell me what I should or should not write about. Anyway… thanks to the readers that are kind and mature! I really appreciate it!

Lots of Love,  
Meghan


	9. Miles Apart

**Gifts and Curses**

Chapter Nine: Miles Apart

_If I could I would do all of this again  
Travel back in time with you to where this all began  
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind  
And make believe there's something left to find _

We'll be miles apart  
I'll keep you deep inside  
You're always in my heart  
A new life to start  
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

Now we've all grown up, gone on and moved away  
Nothing I can do about it, nothing I can say  
To bring us back to where we were when life was not this hard (life was not this hard)  
Looking back it all just seems so far, so far away

"Miles Apart" - Yellowcard

----------v-----------

Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. School is going to be different. Home is going to be different. Brooke is definitely going to be different.

----------v------------

Unlocking my front door, I placed my gym bag by the coat tree. Stretching my calve muscles, I slowly walked back into the kitchen. Opening the fridge, I took out an energy drink. Placing that on the counter, I went into the bathroom and took my medicine.

After, I walked upstairs to my room, and walked into my bathroom. As I ran the bath, I stripped down and then got in.

The hot water felt incredible to my sore body. Sighing, I slid in further. I soaked for a little bit, and then shaved, and then washed my hair. I loved baths. It took out all of the tension from your body just for a bit, and for that brief moment, made you feel normal. Snorting, yea right, me normal? Never.

----------v----------

Fridays are always fun. You really don't do much at school. You have a short practice, because of the game the day before, and you have long ass parties. The 'can't miss' party, tonight, was at Bevin's house. She's been a cheerleader since 8th grade, I think. Her parents went away for the weekend, so she had the house to herself.

I decided that I should go over right after school, and head over to help her out.

While I was walking down the hallway, I heard my name being called. When I turned around, I saw that it was my English teacher, Mr. Meza.

I stopped so he could catch up to me.

Panting a little, he said, "Miss Davis, I have a huge favor to ask of you."

I was a little confused. "Shoot, Mr. Mezz."

"My wife and I are going away this weekend, because her mother got really sick. We couldn't take the baby because her mom lives in Mexico. The babysitter we had, just bailed out on us, and the first person I thought of was you."

"Um, wow, Mr. Meza. Uh, yea, sure I'll do it. No problem." I didn't _have _to go to the party tonight.

"Oh, thank you so much, Brooke. You have no idea how great that is. You saved us!" Taking out a piece of paper, he wrote an address on it.

"Here's where we live. Um, do you think you could come over around 4:30 or 5 tonight?"

I just nodded. "Amazing! Well I have to get going. Thank you so much!" And then he was off.

I slowly walked to my car, and drove home.

What in the hell did I just agree to do?

-----------v-----------

The Meza household was actually really nice. It looked like one of those cookie cutter suburban houses. I walked up the walkway and knocked on the door.

A very tired looking woman opened the door. As soon as she saw who it was, she began to glow.

All of a sudden, she came at me and started hugging me. "You must be Brooke. Thank you so much for doing this, sweetheart!" Then she began rocking me from side to side. "You have no idea how much you saved us!"

You could tell how much the two of them, belonged together.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mr. Meza coming to the door, with a small bundle in arms.

"Felicia, that's enough, we want to be able to breathe, don't we?"

She kissed me briefly on the cheek, and then let me go.

"I'm so sorry, its just, we appreciate this so much." Oh God, was she going to cry?

I tried to distract her by talking about her baby. "So, is this little Geoffrey?" Yep, that certainly did it.

She began to blubber over him, and thankfully not over me.

I was spacing out for a little bit, until they started talking about certain numbers.

"Now, here are both of our cell numbers, my mother's house number, some of our neighbors' numbers. You might recognize some of them. If anything should happen to Geoffrey, call 911 right away."

God, I wonder if I became a parent, if I'll turn out like this. The entire time they were talking, I just nodded my head. I've babysat for my cousins before. How hard could this be?

----------v----------

"Someone please help me!" The baby wouldn't stop crying. I've rocked it, I've fed it, I've burped it. I have no idea what I should do. With little Geoffrey in my arms, I rushed over to where the emergency numbers were. I was shushing the baby, when I saw a name I was very familiar with. I might as well call them, right? "What the hell."

I dialed the number, and when a deep voice answered, "Hello?"

"Jake, hi, it's me Brooke. I need your help."

Just then Geoff started screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Who's that?"

Sighing, I replied, "Geoffrey Meza. I'm babysitting, and I suck and I don't know what to do, and he keeps crying, and I've done everything." I started to tear up a little. "I don't know what to do. Can you please help?"

He hesitated, but then answer, "I'll be right over. How long are you staying there?"

"Till Sunday. Thank you so much, Jake."

After he sighs, he said, "I'll be over soon." And then he hung up.

Rocking the baby some more, I just kept saying, "It'll be okay, baby. Jake's going to come over, and you won't be crying anymore." I held him up to my chest, and placed my chin on his head full of curls. "Hurry up, Jake." I whispered.

----------v----------

I heard the knock right away. I quickly went to the door, with the baby in my arms, and opened it. I was a little surprised with what Jake had with him.

In one hand, he had a baby-carrier, and in the other, two bags, one for him, and one for the baby.

I opened the door wide, and he walked inside.

"Thank you so much for coming, Jake." He just nodded and walked into the living room.

"So, what's wrong with him?" He asked, as he was taking Jenny out of the carrier.

"I don't know, I've done practically everything I could think of. He just won't stop crying." To punctuate that fact, he started screaming some more.

Shaking his head, he said, "Here, take her, and I'll see if I can do something." He passed Jenny to me, and took Geoffrey himself.

As he was trying to get the baby boy settled, I looked down at the angel in my arms. She was so beautiful. Her eyes were a clear green, and she had honey brown hair. I was running my hair through the said hair, when Jake looked up. He was seeing me in a different light. I was smiling, and I didn't care who saw it.

I lifted my head, and saw Jake staring. I just asked him, "What?" and continued to gaze at the beautiful babe.

"Did you change his diaper?" Was all that he said.

I looked over, and said that that was the first thing I did when his parents left.

Resting him on the couch, he said, "Let's just check that out. Usually not putting it on right can make a baby cry. Or maybe he's just a fussy baby."

As he took off the baby's diaper, we both realized what happened. He had diaper rash.

I reached over, gave Jenny to Jake, and pulled Geoffrey up to me, not minding that he was nude from the waist down.

"You poor, poor baby. What did I do to you?" I started rocking him, and tearing up. I never should have accepted to baby-sit the baby. "I ruin everything I touch." I started to sob a little.

Turning around, so Jake didn't see what a mess I was, I felt my shoulders shake.

"Brooke," he started, and rested him hand on my arm. ", You're allowed to make mistakes. I mean, the first month I had Jenny, I was a wreck. I was afraid to touch her, I thought I might break her."

Looking up I simply said, "You're such a great dad, Jake."

Seeing that I was still in a bad mood, and that the mini-speech didn't help at all, he turned to me and said, "Let's order out and watch a movie. You need to start relaxing, this week probably has been crap." I just nodded, and sniffled, and sniffled some more. I hated being a girl.

He placed Jenny back into her carrier and then took Geoff from me, and showed me how to properly put on a diaper. Combing my hair with my fingers, I couldn't help but feel powerless. I guess this week did catch up with me.

"When I'm done with you, you're going to be a natural." He gave me a small smile, one that I returned.

When we laid both of the babies down, I turned to him and said, "So how about those movies…?"

He then said to me, "Get the phonebook, I'll get the wallet. I'm paying tonight."

----------v----------

We just watched movies from the Meza's collection. I guess the theme was oldie but goodie because we watched Dumb and Dumber, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, and of course Bring It On.

I was in the middle of one of the cheers from Bring It On when Jenny started crying. I went to her immediately. Picking her up, and starting to rock her, I kept 'shushing' her. I didn't realize that Jake paused the movie and was just watching me.

Noticing the silence after a while, I glanced over. Seeing his stare, I just asked, "What?"

Smiling and shaking his head, he responded with, "You really are a natural, Brooke. I can't wait to see you with your own babies."

I suppose I stopped what I was doing because he asked me, "What's wrong? Brooke?"

Placing Jenny back in her carrier, I shrugged, "I'm not going to have kids when I get older." I saw his look and then said, "It's okay. I just don't want them."

I walked back to the couch and turned the movie back on.

Jake reached over and paused the movie again. We sat in silence for a while with him staring at me, and with me staring at the TV.

"It's no big deal, Jake." Sighing when I saw his expression not changing, I was starting to get impatient. "What? Stop staring at me. It's not uncommon for a person to not want kids. I mean come on. Do you really think a person like me would become a good mom? You do what you learn, and lets just say that I haven't had a real conversation with my mother in about 3 months. I don't want to put a kid through that. Is that good enough for you?"

He just nodded and left me to my thoughts.

"For what it's worth, I think that because of your past, you would be a great mom. You learn from other's mistakes." With that he turned the movie back on, and nobody tried to pause it again.

----------v----------

The next two days were about the same. Jake and I took care of the babies. We talked about everything but me, and we just a great time. Geoffrey was pretty much well-behaved the rest of the weekend, and Jenny was just a little angel. Jake truly did raise her well.

About 5 o'clock Sunday night, the Mezas came back home. Jake and I were in the middle of feeding the babies when Mrs. Meza rushed in.

You could tell how excited she was to get back home to see her newborn baby.

I handed Geoffrey immediately to her, when she reached us.

She saw Jake and said a brief 'Hello' and went back to coddling her child.

After a while, I decided that I had out warmed my welcome, and said my goodbyes.

There were plenty of hugs and air kisses from the Mrs. So I tried to quickly leave.

I helped Jake take his stuff out, while he carried Jenny. We stopped at his car, and awkwardly said goodbye.

"Thanks for this weekend, Jake. And I'll see you later, baby girl." Jake started to laugh. I spent a weekend with his daughter and I already have a nickname for her.

As I started to walk to my Beetle, I heard Jake call out to me. Turning around to him, he said, "My mom will love it if you want to come over for dinner. She's really missed another girl in the house, besides Jen that is."

Nodding and smiling a little bit bigger, I replied, "Tell her I'd like that. Have a safe trip home."

With that I got into my car, and drove home.

I noticed right away the difference between my house and my neighbors. They have a basketball hoop, and lights on. My house is just dark and lonesome. Dragging my bag, I unlocked the huge door, and pushed it open. I slung my bag to where I usually put it, and walked up my stairs. I didn't feel like eating tonight. I wasn't really hungry. I undressed slowly and went to bed naked. No one's here to see me anyway.

----------v----------

I must have only slept for about 5 hours when I heard my bedroom door open. Opening one of my eyes, I look and notice that Nathan made his way into my room, again, unannounced, again.

Yawning, and making sure that my sheets weren't going anywhere, I asked, "Why are you here, Nathan?" I looked over to the clock and noticed that it was midnight.

I reached down on the floor and picked up an old sleeping shirt, and put it on.

Nathan still had yet to say something to me. He just walked slowly to my bed.

"What are you doing? Nathan? Are you okay?" I said the last line so softly you could hardly hear it.

He finally reached my bed, and as he lifted the blankets, got in. He put his arm around my waist and rested his head on my chest.

"Baby, are you okay?" His answer was just a head shake, meaning no. I placed my hand on his head, and began to sift through his hair. "What happened?"

He lifted his head up slightly, and said, "I hate him." Knowing that he meant Dan, I kept brushing his hair with my fingers.

Nodding, I just said, "Okay.". We both went to sleep shortly after that.

----------v----------

I woke up slowly, with the sun shining in my face. I turned to my alarm clock and saw that it was already 9 o'clock in the morning. Fuck.

I tried to get up, but I noticed that something was keeping me down. I looked to see what it was and saw Nathan sleeping like a little baby. I smiled softly and settled back into bed. I couldn't bare to wake him up. Last night he seemed so unlike himself.

I was up thinking for about an hour, when Nathan finally woke up. His head turned towards me, and I saw that he was pretty confused.

I simply said, "You were upset last night, I thought you might have wanted to sleep." With a nod, he cuddled back onto my chest.

We were pretty silent for awhile. That is until he said what I've been waiting for.

"I'm so sorry. I don't love her, you know? I just didn't want to ruin it without knowing everything." I stayed quiet so he continued. "She admitted to saying those things about you. I about killed her. You aren't heartless, Brooke. She of all people should know that. I told her that we were through, and that I didn't want to waste my time with someone like her." I smiled softly. This was exactly what I wanted to hear.

"I just don't understand why you would go to Tim though." Wincing, I knew that he was going to bring that up. What was I suppose to say?

"He was the only one who didn't hurt me. He was the only one on my side. You were with Haley, Jake wasn't very happy with me then, and I couldn't stand the sight of Lucas." Now Nathan was the one to keep silent.

"Tim isn't as bad as you all say he is. He's actually pretty down to earth." Hearing his snort, I started to chuckle. "You don't have to jealous. It was only a friendly hook-up."

I felt him freeze then. "What?" I asked.

"So you really did hook up with him? What he said at the party wasn't a lie?" He leaned his head up to look at me.

Looking everywhere but his face, I started to get up from the bed. I felt his hand on my wrist, holding me back. "Brooke?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. "Yea, we had sex. That was the first and only time. It wasn't like I was cheating on you." He released my wrist right away. "Nathan?" I turned around, and saw him get out of the bed. Oh great. Now what.

"Nathan, you were with Haley the entire time. What was I suppose to do? Wait for you?" Maybe that wasn't the best thing to have said.

Facing me, he replied bitterly, "Wait for me? Gee, you think Brooke? We just had sex. I seriously had thought that maybe we were going to be together. God, how big of a slut could you really be? Two guys in one day, congratulations." With that he started to walk out. I went after him.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? I went there to maybe see you. I sure saw you alright, with your fucking whore of a girlfriend. You didn't seem very willing to be my boyfriend when she was on your arm the entire night. You didn't even defend me against your brother, either. You have no right to be angry at me, Nathan!"

I stood there waiting for him response. It came after a brief hesitation. "I'm not angry at you, Brooke. I'm just disappointed. And a little jealous. I don't know. All I know is that I have to get out of here." He started walking down the stairs.

All I could think of to say to him was just, "Please don't walk away from me, Nathan. Not again."

He stopped on the second to the top step. "Why shouldn't I, Brooke?"

"Because I'm falling for you again, and I wouldn't be able to handle it if you left me too." I said very quickly. I had no idea what his reaction would be.

I just stared at his jaw clenching. I needed a sign, that what I said to him, meant something.

I waited for about five minutes, and then ,with a sigh, turned around to go back into my room.

I didn't hear his footsteps following me until he turned me around and gave me the most passionate of passionate kisses in the world. We clung to each other, as if one of us would die if we didn't. And maybe one of would have, but now we'll never know. I really am falling for this boy.

----------v----------

A.N.: How was this chapter. I know that I haven't a lot of Brathan in the story so far, but that's because he isn't the only person in her life. I want Brooke to be a very well rounded character. Not just some horny, lovesick puppy.

Much thanks goes to…

Maddie Madison

Kaleymac

Kellocfan1

TypoKween

Thank you all for sticking with me, and don't be afraid to offer some ideas for the story.

Lots of Love,  
Meghan


	10. Sureshot

**Gifts and Curses**

Chapter Ten: Sureshot

_Get up face this day  
Find some way to make the mean kids pay  
Playing it safe, it's your morals at stake  
You're a young man who's willing to wage war  
Break from the mold, never do what your told  
After all what are feelings of rage for _

So I say, I got a sureshot way to work things out  
All of this arguing has worn you down  
I got a sureshot way to kill your doubts  
Find what your following and chase it down

Get up, face this year  
days will fade with all your childhood fears  
All of the nights, all of the friends and the fights  
You're a young man, who's burning to break free  
Here are your rights and your name's up in lights  
Don't abuse be the best that you can be

Bye mom and dad, you're all I had  
I'm finding out I'm on my own, I am all alone  
Break from the mold

"Sureshot" - Yellowcard

----------v----------

Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. Life was finally going the way she planned, that is when everything was torn from her… again. And no, its not a boy thing.

----------v----------

I started to chuckle. "You don't have to be jealous. It was only a friendly hook-up."

I felt him freeze then. "What?" I asked.

"So you really did hook up with him? What he said at the party wasn't a lie?" He leaned his head up to look at me.

Looking everywhere but his face, I started to get up from the bed. I felt his hand on my wrist, holding me back. "Brooke?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. "Yea, we had sex. That was the first and only time. It wasn't like I was cheating on you." He released my wrist right away. "Nathan?" I turned around, and saw him get out of the bed. Oh great. Now what.

"Nathan, you were with Haley the entire time. What was I suppose to do? Wait for you?" Maybe that wasn't the best thing to have said.

Facing me, he replied bitterly, "Wait for me? Gee, you think Brooke? We just had sex. I seriously had thought that maybe we were going to be together. God, how big of a slut could you really be? Two guys in one day, congratulations." With that he started to walk out. I went after him.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? I went there to maybe see you. I sure saw you alright, with your fucking whore of a girlfriend. You didn't seem very willing to be my boyfriend when she was on your arm the entire night. You didn't even defend me against your brother, either. You have no right to be angry at me, Nathan!"

I stood there waiting for him response. It came after a brief hesitation. "I'm not angry at you, Brooke. I'm just disappointed. And a little jealous. I don't know. All I know is that I have to get out of here." He started walking down the stairs.

All I could think of to say to him was just, "Please don't walk away from me, Nathan. Not again."

He stopped on the second to the top step. "Why shouldn't I, Brooke?"

"Because I'm falling for you again, and I wouldn't be able to handle it if you left me too." I said very quickly. I had no idea what his reaction would be.

I just stared at his jaw clenching. I needed a sign, that what I said to him, meant something.

I waited for about five minutes, and then ,with a sigh, turned around to go back into my room.

I didn't hear his footsteps following me until he turned me around and gave me the most passionate of passionate kisses in the world. We clung to each other, as if one of us would die if we didn't. And maybe one of would have, but now we'll never know. I really am falling for this boy.

----------v----------

The walk into school right after the hook-up is always awkward, that is, unless you're with someone you love.

Nathan and I were holding hands, and basically looked like Tree Hill's royalty. I saw people stare in shock, people with knowing grins, and people like Lucas and Haley with constipated glares.

Instead of making a scene, the two of us walked right by them and headed towards our lockers.

I felt his hand squeeze mine immediately when we had to part ways. I turned around and leaned against a locker nearby. When I looked up at him, he was looking right on back. Slowly he put his hand up to my cheek and brought me into his kiss. I about melted right then and there. There was just something about his kiss that always made me want to fall to the floor in a puddle. My arm gradually made its way up to his shoulder and clench it tight.

We didn't break from our embrace until the bell rang to start homeroom.

Gasping, we came up for air. I pecked his nose and walked away. I love having a boyfriend. I strolled to class with the biggest sincere smile on my face. And for once I was happy.

----------v----------

Our lives were continuing on the same track for about 3 ½ weeks. Nathan and I were happy and very much 'in like'. I think he still has problems with the 'L' word, but I don't have any issues with that.

We started a pretty nice routine. We would sleep over each others' houses and then we would go to school together. On the weekends we would hang out with some of his friends and of course Jake. There was this new girl, Peyton Sawyer, I think she was from Pennsylvania or something, that I've been trying to recruit for cheerleading. She's so sweet. I think she has this hole tortured artist look to her, and that's exactly what we need, some flava to the team. Besides, we both need a friend, why not instigate the situation?

Nathan, Jake and I were becoming a very tight knit group. I went to Jake about my problems, Nathan went to Jake about his problems, and Jake went to the both of us about his problems. We were like family to each other. And Jenny was like all three of our baby. She called Nathan, 'Mate', because she was still working on her Ns and Ms. She called me 'Book' and of course Jake 'Daddy'. She was such an adorable kid, you couldn't help but fall in love with her.

We were actually at Jake's house when I got THE phone call. The phone call that makes you tremble when you think about it. The phone call that most everyone forgets about because they were in so much shock. Well not me. I remember that phone call like it was yesterday, because that phone call tore my cookie cutter life to shreds.

I was playing with Jenny and her dolls when I heard my cell phone ring. I didn't think anything about it, so I just nonchalantly answered, without looked at my caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Hello. May I speak with a Miss Brooke Davis, please?" An older gentleman with a slight English accent asked.

"This is she." I answered.

"Miss Davis, I believe I have very unfortunate news for you. Are you perhaps related to a Mr. Ronald and Mrs. Catherine Davis?" Well I suppose that they're in the UK right now.

"Uh, yea, they're my parents…" I answered cautiously. I picked Jenny up and put her in her bouncy chair.

"Well, Miss Davis, I don't know how to tell you this…"

Sighing, I interrupted, "Look, just tell me please. Are they in some kind of trouble financially? I have some money if they need it…"

"No, Miss Davis, I don't believe you understand. They… passed away about 5 hours ago." I quickly sat on the couch.

"They were in a car accident when a car hit them while running a stop light." I just stared at Jenny bouncing while he was explaining what happened. My parents died? My mother and father are dead? How could this have happen? Why did he wait 5 fucking hours to tell me.

My thoughts were interrupted with the man chanting, "Miss Davis, Miss Davis. Hello? Miss Davis"

Blinking away some tears, I choked out, "Yes.. I'm here. Um… what do you need me to do.. Do I need to go over there, or do their b-- do they come over here?" Might as well take the intellectual approach to it. I wasn't about to break down in front of little Jenny. I was strong, I was Brooke Davis, damn it.

"Actually, Miss Davis, they're being shipped out, and the nearest funeral home will contact you with the information." He was like a robot, sprouting all of this crap out. Like he didn't have any feelings.

"Ahh, thank you very much…"

"Mr. Andrews, Clyde Andrews. I was one of you father's… clients, I suppose you can say." Rolling my eyes, the only thing going through that guys head was how was he going to get a new… whatever my dad was. It was pathetic. But then again, this is the kind of person my father deals… I mean dealt with everyday.

"Hmm.. Well, thank you Mr. Andrews for calling me and letting me know. Um, sorry that you had to be put into this situation." With that I ended the phone conversation.

I could feel the lump in my throat getting bigger and bigger. I quickly brushed the few tears that slid down my cheeks away. I had to get out of Jake's house fast. But what should I say?

Right at that moment, of course, Nathan and Jake walk in carrying some groceries. I guess they went shopping. They were talking about some basketball team or something like that when they entered the living room.

I reached down and got my purse and put my cell phone in it. Turning to the boys with a fake smile, I vaguely said, "Hey, I got a call from a friend, and she needs me to help her out with something. I'll see you guys later on okay?" I bent down and kissed Jenny softly on the forehead. As I passed Nathan I kissed him chastely on the cheek.

I could tell that he was a little confused, but I couldn't deal with his emotions either.

I walked briskly to my car, got in, and sped down to my house.

I practically ran inside, and I didn't even get to close the door, when the floodgates burst.

I collapsed. That was the only easy way to put it. I didn't know that a person could feel this badly. I was a broken soul, and I didn't even know if there were any possible way to fix me.

I gasping for each breathe, sobbing out to my parents. Why did they leave me? How dare they! They were supposed to make up for everything that they missed. They were supposed to watch me graduate. How could this happen? I loved them and they left me alone to deal with everything. I'm still a kid, I don't know shit. I don't even know how to bake a cake let alone insurance and bills, and college tuition. Why did this happen?

----------v----------

I must have fallen asleep on the steps, because when I woke up the clock in the hallway said 6:36 P.M. I slowly got up, and went into the living room. Bad mistake.

The walls were filled of family portraits. There was even a candid picture taken when we went to Cancun. I only remember that trip because my mother got sunburn, and complained about it the entire time.

Without thinking, I ran to the bathroom, opened the door, lifted the lid to the toilet and heaved. I heaved until everything came out, and then I heaved some more. My abs were killing me, my throat was raw, and my eyes felt huge. As I leaned my head down on the cool tiles of the floor, I couldn't help but think how fucked up my life was going to be. Worse than usual. And then I started to think about everything that I had to do when they came home. The arraignments. I let three tears come out. And that was it. I wasn't going to cry anymore. Crying helps nothing. It makes you even more weaker in a persons eye, and I don't need that. I don't need pity, I don't need their sympathy, because I sure as hell am not going to give them any.

With a shake of my head, I hoisted myself off from the ground and walked upstairs and got into bed.

When I closed my eyes, one single tear came out, well I guess one more tear won't hurt.

----------v----------

I ignored every phone call that I had for about three days. I was too busy with the funeral arraignments, and the finances, and worrying if I would have enough money for everything.

When I heard the familiar ring tone, I ignored that call as well. I wasn't ready for Nathan's sympathy, I've had enough so far. I wasn't ready for the tears and 'I'm so sorry for your loss.'. I wasn't ready for everyone looking at me like I needed a hug. Though in the past few days it was exactly what I needed.

At that very moment, I was flipping through all of the sympathy cards from my parents' clients. Every single one of them were expensive, with the fine lettering and gold accents. I placed the last one on the table, when the front door bell rang.

Sighing I hoisted myself up, and answered it. Boy was I surprised.

"Hey Tigger."

"Why, Haley James, what in the world are you doing here? Guilt finally get to you?" I asked her with a… lets just say a very bitter tone. I was about to close the door in her face until she spoke.

"I definitely deserve that… but Brooke, I want, no, need to be here with you. Nobody knew them like we did. They were like another set of parents to me. Can I just come in and talk with you. I know you hate me and all…" I interrupted her hysterics by opening the door wider.

"Come on in."

She gave me a small smile.

We walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. It was pretty silent until she cleared her throat.

"So… how'd you find out?" To most people they would deem that insensitive. To me, it was like having my best friend back.

"Some guy called me. I guess they were in England when it happened." I was looking down at the table the entire time.

Even more silence passed.

"We weren't together after that time you saw us." She said so softly I could hardly hear her.

Chuckling very sarcastically, I just said, "Well isn't that great. You can fuck him any other time when I didn't know, but the first day I find out you go cold turkey. Ain't that sweet?"

I heard her sigh before her reply. "It was a selfish move, but Lucas kept telling me he loved me. He made me all of these promises, and Nathan was always playing basketball. I felt unloved, and then Lucas gave me attention."

Shaking my head, I just barked, "Wow, Haley, some guy gives you a little bit of attention and you fuck him. Good going. And they say I was queen bitch. Oh wait, no that was you saying all of that, huh?" Rolling my eyes, I went to the refrigerator and got a bottle of water.  
"I never really said all of that stuff, Brooke. I was upset at you for something or another, and I was venting. You've said worse about me you know!" She tried to argue, but it wasn't really working all that well.

"Yea, well I didn't sleep with your boyfriend now did I?"

And then I heard her mumble that one stupid phrase.

"Oh, and you didn't have sex with Nathan?"

I spun around and shouted, "Get the fuck out! I thought you came here for my parents, but you only wanted to relieve your own guilt!"

Her face fell, and she slowly got up. "I loved your parents, Brooke. They raised me as their own, and I'm going to their funeral tomorrow. I came by here, wondering if you wanted to do something nice for them, with me. But I guess not."

She was already out into the hall when I asked her what it was she wanted to do.

She turned around and said, "I thought we could do a memorial song, together. Your mother always loved our duets, so I thought that it suited."  
I let it all sink into my head, and then nodded inch by inch. "It's what she would have wanted."

"'The Rose'"

With a definite nod, "'The Rose'"

-----------v----------

"_Some say love it is a river  
that drowns the tender reed  
Some say love it is a razor  
that leaves your soul to bleed_

_Some say love it is a hunger  
an endless aching need  
I say love it is a flower  
and you it's only seed "_

Everyone was silently watching as Haley and I harmonized to my mother's favorite Bette Midler song. She was her favorite actress. I remember when I was younger, before everything got out of hand, she, Haley and I were in her room playing with makeup and listening to this very song over and over again. She told us that if you listened carefully, you could feel it touch your soul. I still didn't know what she meant, that was until I was singing that very song in front of hundreds of grieving people.

"_It's the heart afraid of breaking  
that never learns to dance  
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance  
It's the one who won't be taken  
who cannot seem to give  
and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live"_

I looked over to Haley, who had multiple tears streaming down her cheeks. I reached over and linked my hand with hers. Despite everything, she's like a sister to me, and she's hurting right now.

I still had yet to cry in public. Sure I had a tear or so come out, but I wasn't breaking down and sobbing. Not like before. I broke out of my thoughts when I felt Haley squeeze my fingers, I squeezed right back.

What a pair we made. Two dark brunettes with black clothing with their hands linked, and tears running down their cheeks, well in my situation one, singing a beautiful song. It was a very touching moment.

"_When the night has been too lonely  
and the road has been too long  
and you think that love is only  
for the lucky and the strong  
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows  
lies the seed  
that with the sun's love  
in the spring  
becomes the rose"_

The pianist softly ended the song, and all you could hear were sniffles and whispers, and an occasional gasp for breath.

Haley and I quickly took our sits, up front, and listened to the Reverend. We were asked to say a few more prayers, and then right after the service ended, we were driven to the cemetery.

I made sure that they got a beautiful spot. It was right on top of a hill with cherry blossoms blooming.

The rest was a blur. I didn't really remember much except that Nathan kept looking over, and Haley kept rubbing my shoulder and making soothing noises. The only thing I do remember, however, was when Lucas came over.

I heard leaves crackle and looked over my shoulder. He was wear a very nice dark blue almost black sweater with black pants. When we made eye contact, he gave me a soft reassuring smile.

Once I felt his hand on my shoulder, I collapsed. I don't know why Lucas and not Nathan, but it felt like something inside of myself exploded.

I remember Lucas holding my body up, and slowly lowered me to the ground. He kept rocking me, and combing his fingers through my hair.

"Shhh, it's okay, let it all out."

"They're gone Luke." I gasped out. "They're really gone."

"It'll get better, I promise."  
"Why did this happen? How could they do this? I hate them. I hate them. I HATE THEM!" I kept weeping louder and louder. Lucas kept rocking me and rocking, with everyone watching.

Haley leaned down and joined the semi-hug. She kept whispering softly into my ear and leaned her head against mine. Then I felt Nathan join us, and he kept placing soft kisses on my forehead.

We were such a sight. The four of us sitting on the ground, holding each other. We were all holding each other up, never letting the others fall. For once I felt truly and completely loved.

----------v----------

It was about 8 o'clock until we all went to my house. I decided not to have an outing for everyone to go to. It was too hard for me to even be with three other people.

We were all sitting around my kitchen table, when Nathan broke the silence.

"Your mom would have the service, B." He said to me, looking me in the eyes.

I just gave him a soft smile, and nodded.

Lucas cleared his throat while nodding and said, "Yea, you two did a great job. I didn't know you could sing, Brooke."

I gave him a chuckle for his expense, and said, "There's a lot you don't know."  
Haley started laughing with me. "She's been singing right along with me, since we were like six right, Tigger?"

I just winced at her nickname for me. Like we were back to how it was before, happy and content. Do I want that? Of course I do. Would it come easily? Definitely not. Will everyone make an effort? Who knows.

"Six or seven, I think, Tutor-girl." Well no one can say that Brooke Davis didn't make an effort.

She gave me a smile, and mouthed, 'Thank you.'. I gave another nod.

"Well, I'm beat, I'm going to go to bed. You guys are welcome to stay… if you want." I left it hanging in the air, I didn't know what they wanted to do.

Nathan immediately got up, and started walking behind me.

I turned around, and saw Haley and Lucas looking at each other in confusion.

"You can use the guest rooms. Hales, you know where they are." With that I walked up to my room, and started getting changed.

I was sliding on my PJ bottoms when I felt Nathan's hands on my hips. He leaned his chin on my shoulders, and slid his arms around to link in front of me.

We stood there, with him holding me, for ages. It felt so good to be wanted, for him to love me in his own way. I moved my head slightly, and kissed his forehead.

"Thanks, baby." I whispered softly.

He didn't really say anything for awhile. He had a small smirk on his face, but that was about it.

We disentangled ourselves, and went to get into bed. He took off his pants and unbuttoned his shirt. He jumped onto the bed, and wrapped his arm around my waist.

I was almost to sleep when Nathan leaned his head over mine, and whispered, "I love you.", kissed my ear, and settled back in.

I didn't want to ruin the moment, so I just glowed and kept my excitement to myself.

I love that boy so freaking much.

----------v----------

A.N.: I am sooooooooooooooooo sorry that I haven't updated until sooner. I was severely sick. Blahhhh. I hope you guys like it. I added some Brathan, Baley, and a teensy tiny Brucas… but all in good fun.

I hope you all had a great Easter… that is if you celebrate it, and for those who don't… well I hope you had a good Sunday.

Lots and Lots of Love,  
Meghan


	11. Drifting

**Gifts and Curses**

Chapter Eleven : Drifting

_When I look into your eyes, I can see  
Such a sad man in disguise  
waiting, wishing, dreaming, drifting from me  
Hurts my heart to see you cry  
waiting, wishing, dreaming, drifting from me _

I don't know you anymore, wish I knew what's wrong  
Can't we try to slam that door, start a brand new song

I know you're lonely and you cry, wondering why  
I know it's lonely but if once, you could help me understand  
What it takes to be a man  
Look back on what you've said, and the life you've led  
Is it what you dreamed when you were young like me.  
Now it's time you took something back  
just for the sake of your mind.  
When I look into your eyes, I can see  
Life has buried you alive  
waiting, wishing, dreaming, drifting from me  
You can't breathe  
Heart as big as ocean's wide  
waiting, wishing, dreaming, drifting from me

"Drifting" - Yellowcard

----------v----------

Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. Even after the death of her parents, Brooke's life was starting to go down the right track. She made a new friend, made peace with the old ones, started a new job, and is absolutely and totally in love with her boyfriend. But in case you haven't noticed… this girl can't catch a break. And an oldfriend from her past helps her realize that...

----------v----------

Haley started laughing with me. "She's been singing right along with me, since we were like six right, Tigger?"

I just winced at her nickname for me. Like we were back to how it was before, happy and content. Do I want that? Of course I do. Would it come easily? Definitely not. Will everyone make an effort? Who knows.

"Six or seven, I think, Tutor-girl." Well no one can say that Brooke Davis didn't make an effort.

She gave me a smile, and mouthed, 'Thank you.'. I gave another nod.

"Well, I'm beat, I'm going to go to bed. You guys are welcome to stay… if you want." I left it hanging in the air, I didn't know what they wanted to do.

Nathan immediately got up, and started walking behind me.

I turned around, and saw Haley and Lucas looking at each other in confusion.

"You can use the guest rooms. Hales, you know where they are." With that I walked up to my room, and started getting changed.

I was sliding on my PJ bottoms when I felt Nathan's hands on my hips. He leaned his chin on my shoulders, and slid his arms around to link in front of me.

We stood there, with him holding me, for ages. It felt so good to be wanted, for him to love me in his own way. I moved my head slightly, and kissed his forehead.

"Thanks, baby." I whispered softly.

He didn't really say anything for awhile. He had a small smirk on his face, but that was about it.

We disentangled ourselves, and went to get into bed. He took off his pants and unbuttoned his shirt. He jumped onto the bed, and wrapped his arm around my waist.

I was almost to sleep when Nathan leaned his head over mine, and whispered, "I love you.", kissed my ear, and settled back in.

I didn't want to ruin the moment, so I just glowed and kept my excitement to myself.

I love that boy so freaking much.

----------v----------

_I looked around all I could see was a green field. Purple tulips everywhere. The wind was soft and warm, and the sun shown brightly. I heard children giggling behind me, and I turned and saw a playground. I slowly walked towards the happy kids, and when they noticed me, they started to gesture me over. I put a little skip to my steps, and was there in no time. _

_The little girl with deep brown hair and rich green eyes, hugged my leg immediately and stared up into my face._

_I was looking down at her with love and wonderment and then all of a sudden her face began to morph. It turned black and her entire body started to grow larger and larger. I remember closing my eyes in fear, and then I felt a rough and heavy hand lying on my throat. _

_When I opened my eyes, I noticed that I was in a hospital bed with Dan Scott standing over me with tears in his eyes. His hand moved up and cupped my face, just like Nathan usually did. Dan leaned down, and gave me a soft kiss on my forehead, and then in a blink of an eye, began to strangle me. _

_I started straight into his eyes, and saw not rage and anger, but sadness and guilt. He kept whispering "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." over and over again. He said it so much that I found myself chanting the same words._

_His grip got tighter and tighter, and I gasped the words, "I forgive you."_

Gasping for breath I sat up quickly in my bed. Looking around I noticed that I was in my own room, and with a sigh leaned back down.

Why in the hell did I dream that? I glanced over to the clock and saw that I woke up 45 minutes before the alarm clock was going to go off. Knowing that I wouldn't get back to sleep after that disturbing nightmare, I got up and went into the bathroom.

As I turned on the light, I squinted into the mirror. I noticed every dent, every shadow, every imperfection, and frowned. Lifting up my shirt I noticed that only a few ribs were sticking out, and frowned even more. Turning slightly I noticed that my back wasn't getting any leaner. With a soft sigh I reached under the sink, and got out the scale. Stepping on it, and looking down, I saw that I was only 112 pounds. I just stared at it, in confusion. I'd lost a little over 30 pounds after the whole ordeal with my parents. It's been almost 4 months, I should have lost more. With a quick shake to my head, I started into the shower. I definitely should have lost more than that. Well, I guess I'm going to have to crack that invisible whip. Oh, goody.

----------v----------

After mother and father passed on, things have really turned around. I've made better friends with Haley and Luke, made a new friend with Peyton Sawyer, who is fabulous by the way, and fell even more in love with Nathan. I started working at this bed and breakfast place called Mother Maria. It was cute and with me being a receptionist, it was a hell of a lot more cuter. I had great hours there, and they totally understood my after school practices. They accepted me as their family, and it gave me time to think. Peyton was actually the one to introduce me to the owners. I think they're her aunt and uncle, or something like that. But anyway, we've spent a lot of time together because of that.

Peyton is such an awesome person. We get along so great, and have a lot more in common that most people believe. Her birth and adopted mothers both passed on a couple of years before, so she's been a great help to me with my situation. She understands me, and is not there with fake and unneeded sympathy. She is one hundred percent honest and tells you exactly what she's thinking… that remind you of anyone?

The rest of the gang accepted her with open arms, and ever since then, we've all been tight. Haley has totally changed, but for good. She's more independent than she once was, and is even more of a free thinker. Luke pretty much stays to himself, but he tends to catch you off guard sometimes. Jake and Jenny are still healthy and happy, and I'm starting to think that Peyton is getting attached to both of them. It was so cute.

I must have been distracted by my thoughts because suddenly I was on the ground, with a big scrap on my elbow. With furious eyes, I turned to see who the jerk was. My eyes widened with I noticed the one boy I really didn't want to talk to.

Ryan Michaels. The ex-boyfriend/good friend that 'went away with the chick he got pregnant'.

Ignoring his helping hand, I brushed off my jeans, and checked out my elbow.

"Thanks dearly, Ryan. So why'd you come back?" I asked in a semi-amused semi-hurt tone. I wasn't mad that he left, I was mad that he never said anything to me about it. You see after we broke up, we became pretty good friends after he announced to me and only me that he was gay. We would trade relationship advice, and talk about our misfit parents.

"Hey Brookie. What's up?" He said in his confident, husky voice.

"Oh nothing, just bleeding here." When he heard that, his nostalgic expression changed quickly into a concern look.

He grabbed my arm, and turned it so he could see what happened. With a tisk, he took out a napkin from his pocket, have no idea why it was there, and placed it on my scrape. After he was sure it stopped bleeding, he threw it into the nearest garbage can.

Turning to me, he then said, "What no hug?" With a smile and a huge laugh I jumped into his awaiting arms. We've always had a touchy feely relationship. That was just who Ryan was. He expressed his emotions often, you just got used to it.

"Dang, girl, you've lost some weight, haven't you?" He groaned out as I squeezed most of the air out of him. I got a little nervous that he noticed as quick as he did, but he hasn't seen me in like 2 years.

With a fake smile, I just replied, "Nope, just toned down a little bit. So how are you? What have you been up to?" I really wanted to change the topic if you haven't noticed.

"Nothing much, Brookie. Chicago wasn't as fun as everyone thought it would be." While he was talking, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and we started to walk into school. "The kids all thought that they were cool or something. Pfft. They ain't got nothing on us." We both chuckled at that. He and I always joked about how we were so 'popular' blah, blah, blah. It was awesome to have one of my great friends back.

He knew me before the funeral, and he knew me before Lucas. He knew the real me.

Breaking me out of my thoughts, he stopped strolling and placed both hands on my shoulders, facing me. "How about we go to a party tonight. We can show Tree Hill who the Terrible Two-some really is." After seeing my hesitance, he puckered his bottom lip and gave me the puppy dog eyes. "Come on B. We have to celebrate me coming home. I mean, didn't you miss me? No one knows how to party like I do, right?"

With a soft smile, I nodded and said, "Okay, Ry, but you have to pick me up, and take me out to eat before hand. There's no way I'm going to get a hangover because of you." With a bigger smile, I started to walk away. After a couple of seconds, I felt his arm around my shoulders again. Leaning down so his chin was on my head, he said, "I missed you, you know?"

I just kept my smile on, wrapped my arm around his waist and answered, "Me too." With that, I walked him to the office so he could get his schedule, and went to my class.

As I was sitting there, I started to feel a little guilty. Because of my job, I never really had any time to spend with Nathan, and one of the days that I'm actually off, I spend it with another guy. Shaking my head, I thought to myself., 'He'll understand. And if he doesn't, then I'll make him understand. I really hope he understands.'

----------v-----------

"What do you mean you're going out to a party tonight? Brooke I thought we were going to order out and watch a movie at your house?" Okay I guess he doesn't understand.

With a soft sigh, I answered, "Nate, my friend just got here today and he wanted to hang a little."

I saw his head lift up at the word 'he'. "He? He who?"

With a roll of my eyes I just said, "You wouldn't remember him. Babe, it'll only be for the night, and I have off on Sunday. We can hang out then, right?"

Shaking his head slowly, like I was stupid, he strung out, "Brooke, I have a basketball conference this weekend. That's why we were hanging out tonight. Baby why don't you---"

He was interrupted by a deep voice exclaiming, "Brooke-baby, are you really to jam or what? Tonight is going to feel so good!" Then the deep voice proceeded to wrap his arms around my waist and give me a huge kiss-a-roo on my cheek… very close to my mouth.

When I looked up to Nathan, you could tell he wasn't excited. With a very impish smile, I said, "Nate, meet Ryan."

Ryan immediately reached one of his hands to Nate to shake, but Nathan just stared at him. I rolled my eyes, once again and said, "Nathan.", very sternly.

His eyes met mine, and with a disgusted scoff he started to walk away.

Breaking away from Ryan, I ran to meet up with him. "Why are you so mad at me? You've been saying that I needed to get out of the house. And now that I do, you turn all bitchy on me."

He spun around, and you could clearly see flames in his eyes. "I wanted you to get out of the house with me, Brooke. I wanted you to hang out with me, not Mr. I'm Too Sexy To Wear An Actual Shirt, over there." Then he made a grunty exasperated yell, "And you let him touch you. God, Brooke. What are you trying to tell me?"

Okay, I'm so freaking confused right now. "What are you talking about? Ryan's a very old friend. It's not my fault he wants to touch me, at least someone around here does." Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say.

"You want someone to touch you? Well then fine, you better get use to that sleaze-bag over there touching you, because right now I don't even feel like looking at you." With that he turned around once again, and headed to his car.

I turned around as well, and headed over to a very confused boy. With a fake smile, I said very chirpily, "You really to go, babe?"

He could see right through it, and then he put his arms gently on my shoulder. "You sure you want to party tonight? We could just chill at my house…"

He left it open-ended so I didn't feel pressured. With a strong shake of my head, I just said, "So where are we going?"

He gave me a brief kiss on the cheek and smiled, "Tonight's going to be so amazing."

As we walked to my car, I just couldn't help but feel as if the party was going to be the exact opposite.

----------v----------

The party was hosted by some kid by one of our rival schools. They always seemed the best, because you didn't really know everyone, and the people you did know were actually cool. The first step wasn't as bad as I would have thought. They had some awesome music playing, and it looked as if the bar was fully stacked.

With a huge smile, I pulled Ryan over to the said place. I walked around the bar top, and checked out what they had. I spotted my favorite liquor and grabbed it right away. Smirnoff Ice Vanilla Vodka. Yum. I reached behind me and grabbed a can of Coke.

As I was concocting the best drink in the world Ryan pulled me close and gave me a sideways hug.

The entire night was okay so far, but I couldn't stop thinking about Nathan. I didn't want him to be mad, but he wasn't fighting to hang out with me. It was like he just gave up, and that doesn't make me at all happy.

I gave Ryan a small kiss on the side of his neck, and started to drink. Well chug was more like it. I was going to get drunk, that was a given, so why not start sooner than expected.

Ryan walked behind the counter and grabbed a couple of bottles of hard liquor and took my hand. He walked us over to one of the couches and we just began talking, and drinking, with a little bit of dancing. One of the kids brought a stroblight, and that just made everything better. After dropping our bottles onto the coffee table, we got up and started to dance. It wasn't some 7th grade type of dancing, it was hardcore, sweat running everywhere, and every body part touching everyone else's body parts. It was just one dancing orgy, and I definitely needed it.

During the festivities I didn't notice that a lot of the boys were very close to me, I wasn't really paying attention. All of a sudden I felt someone place their hands on my waist and felt their fingers going down the front of my pants. Boy was I paying attention now. Thankfully Ryan was paying more attention, because all of a sudden the guy was being ripped off of me.

I heard Ryan's fist meet that guys face before I saw it. I turned around and say Ryan on top of the boy, just slamming the shit out of him. I mean he didn't stop. I quickly went over and placed my hand on his shoulder. It was tense at first but it calmed down, and then he got off of the kid. He turned to me, and ushered me out with a hand on my waist.

When we were by my car, he finally stopped and looked me in the face. Gently he cupped my face, and placed the softest kiss on my lips. I kissed him back, knowing that it wasn't a romantic kiss, just a 'I'm so happy that guy didn't rape you' kiss. I slowly put my arms around his neck and slightly deepened the kiss. We both backed away and enveloped each other in a hug.

I didn't know this, but during the entire experience I started crying. By the time we hugged each other, I was sobbing.

He whispered in my ear that he was going to take me home, and I nodded. I missed this kid.

----------v-----------

I was pretty sober by the time we got to my house, so when I invited him in, I fully knew what I was doing.

I also knew what I was doing when I invited him upstairs to my room, and into my bed.

I knew when I stripped to only my underwear and no bra, and I knew when he took everything but his boxers off. We both knew what we were doing.

We didn't have sex, we didn't do anything except for hold each other, because at that time, I needed someone to love me, for me, and not for my body, or for my money, or because they feel bad about me. I needed a best friend, and Ryan was amazing at that.

What I wasn't aware of at that time, was that Nathan felt bad about the whole situation and wanted to come and apologize.

I finally knew how Lucas felt in that one moment when he saw my eyes well up with betrayal. I didn't cheat on Nathan, but with the look he gave me, I might as well did.

I heard the door open, and then slam against the wall. I opened my eyes, and sat up with a blanket around my chest. I gave him a small smile, but stopped when I saw his expression. His eyes were tearing up, his hands clenched, and his face furious. I was confused at first, but when I looked to where Nathan was concentrating, I felt my heart plop down into my stomach. Ryan was there, and it looked like he was pretty naked. You even saw some of his hipbone because of when I moved the blanket.

I quickly shot around to Nathan and started pleading, "Baby, it's not what it looks like. He just needed a place to sleep." I stopped talking when he held his hand up.

With that he walked away.

Feeling the tears well up, I started shaking Ryan awake. "Ryan!" I whispered loudly. "Ryan wake up." When he started to stir a little, I started shaking him harder and faster.

With a mumble, his eyes opened. He shot up, when he saw me crying. Putting an arm around my bare shoulders, he asked what was up.  
I couldn't do anything except for shake my head and choke out, "I truly hate myself."

----------v----------

**What's to come…:**

Nathan ignoring Brooke.

More about Ryan, and why he came back.

Brooke's unhealthy eating habits escalating along with some … new … habits.

_'Hey girl, you wanna try some?'… 'Why not?' Finally there was something else Brooke could control. Her weight was her own, her social status was her own, now she can finally control what she was feeling, and she only needed some white substance to make it all feel better._

I'm so sorry it's so short… but it sucks when you can only type with about 7 fingers… Bahhh! But I really wanted to post something up here so you all didn't think I was dead.

I love you all,  
Meghan


	12. Violins

Gifts and Curses

Chapter 12: Violins

_I am just another fool, and I have to, keep telling myself that  
I am just a hypocrite, and I have to, keep calling you one  
And I forgot to bite my tongue, and my assumption, was the mother of all mistakes  
So I assume the role, open my mouth, and clumsy words escape_

_So why you, wanna to be there, when you could be here, you are slipping away_

_I awake with your replacement, a bottle in my grasp, in an unfamiliar place  
Because you put me out, the butt of a sick joke, into this ashtray life  
As you come and go, and I forgot to service you, and we broke down  
And you can't live with my mistakes, so I assume false grace  
Open my arms and grasp at something true_

_I bring out the worst in you, and you try and let me know  
You bring out the worst in me, anxiety, anxiety  
I'm trying to let you go, you say I'm giving you the creeps  
So I assume the role, open my claws and grasp for your heart_

_Violins, into this ashtray life  
Violins, the butt of your sick joke  
Violins, I'm trying hard to let you go  
Violins_

"Violins" - Yellowcard

----------v----------

Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. Brooke makes mistakes, it's what she does, but they aren't usually this huge. Can she escape from this one unharmed, or will she permanently ruin everything that she has once loved and cherished?

----------v----------

I was pretty sober by the time we got to my house, so when I invited him in, I fully knew what I was doing.

I also knew what I was doing when I invited him upstairs to my room, and into my bed.

I knew when I stripped to only my underwear and no bra, and I knew when he took everything but his boxers off. We both knew what we were doing.

We didn't have sex; we didn't do anything except for hold each other, because at that time, I needed someone to love me, for me, and not for my body, or for my money, or because they feel bad about me. I needed a best friend, and Ryan was amazing at that.

What I wasn't aware of at that time, was that Nathan felt bad about the whole situation and wanted to come and apologize.

I finally knew how Lucas felt in that one moment when he saw my eyes well up with betrayal. I didn't cheat on Nathan, but with the look he gave me, I might as well did.

I heard the door open, and then slam against the wall. I opened my eyes, and sat up with a blanket around my chest. I gave him a small smile, but stopped when I saw his expression. His eyes were tearing up, his hands clenched, and his face furious. I was confused at first, but when I looked to where Nathan was concentrating, I felt my heart plop down into my stomach. Ryan was there, and it looked like he was pretty naked. You even saw some of his hipbone because of when I moved the blanket.

I quickly shot around to Nathan and started pleading, "Baby, it's not what it looks like. He just needed a place to sleep." I stopped talking when he held his hand up.

With that he walked away.

Feeling the tears well up, I started shaking Ryan awake. "Ryan!" I whispered loudly. "Ryan, wake up." When he started to stir a little, I started shaking him harder and faster.

With a mumble, his eyes opened. He shot up, when he saw me crying. Putting an arm around my bare shoulders, he asked what was up.

I couldn't do anything except for shake my head and choke out, "I truly hate myself."

----------v----------

It was like a bad dream. The old Brooke would have done something like that, but not me. Not the new and improved Brooke. Not the Brooke that was truly in love with her boyfriend, well probably ex-boyfriend.

I just stared at myself in the mirror, again. Ryan had gone home a little after Nathan. He pleaded with me to just forget it, and that it would just 'go away'. I shook my head. It was never going to go away. I didn't physically cheat on Nathan, but that's not what he thinks. Here I am preaching to everyone how hurt I was that Lucas cheated with my best friend, and here I slept practically nude in a bed with some guy Nathan doesn't know. He doesn't know that Ryan is gay; he doesn't know that Ryan is one of my oldest and closest friends. And I knew that.

I continued to stare at my reflection. Who is this stupid, little, bitch staring back at me? That couldn't have been me. I leaned back up, and pulled up my shirt. With a disgusted sneer, I thought, No freaking wonder Nathan didn't want to be with me. I look like a frigging cow. I pinched my side, and with a scoff I noticed that I pinched over an inch. How gross.

Well I'm guessing its time for some exercise. With that, I walked into my room, and grabbed the thickest sweatpants and sweatshirts ever. I wore a tank top, a long sleeve shirt, and my Raven's sweatshirt, with matching sweatpants.

I pulled my hair up, grabbed a water bottle, and started off. No Pain, No Gain.

The usual, was basically three miles, but since I let myself go, I though six would be okay.

----------v----------

When I got home, I quick rushed into my bathroom, and stepped on the scale. Noticing that I had only lost a pound, I rolled my eyes, and got a quick shower.

After making sure, I was 'perfect' I got out, got dried off, and started looking at my collection of clothes.

Tonight was the last day Nathan was going to be in town, and I wanted to show him that I was sincerely sorry, and that he did need me. There was going to be a little party over at Tric, this one teenage club down town. Peyton works over there, and told me to come by.

Pulling out one of my sexy skirts, I smirked. I guess I could stop on in.

----------v----------

I didn't expect Nathan to totally give in and forgive me, but I wasn't expecting this. He had his arms around these two sluts, with his stupid ass 'I'm the big man' smirk. I absolutely hated that smirk. I wasn't going to let this screw my plans over, though.

I strutted over there, with my red stilettos, my black skirt that hardly covered anything, and my red silk camisole. I looked so hot. So I went over to Nathan, tapped his shoulder, and waited for him to turn around. With a clearing of the throat, on my part, he ignored me. With me saying, "Nathan.", he ignored me.

I stared at the back of his head for who knows how long, until one of the sluts turned around and said, "Better get moving, cow. He doesn't want you anymore." With that she turned back around. They didn't see me wince at the mentioning of my weight. They didn't see my eyes tear up. They didn't see me.

I stumbled away, trying to look for someone I knew. I turned my head to the left, saw Ryan's head. Closing my eyes briefly, I slowly walked over to him. Hopefully this turns out semi-okay.

He noticed me right away, and gave me a brief hug. It wasn't like our usual ones; it was distant and fake, and just terrible.

I think he noticed it as well, because he gave me this pitiful smile. He then said softly, "Let's go for a walk, kiddo." With that we walked out of Tric.

We were basically just strolling down the sidewalks. I told him what had happened, and he sympathized. I really appreciated that from him. I needed someone for me.

"But it still doesn't change the fact that in Nathan's eyes, I'm just like Haley. He doesn't know that you're gay, Ryan. He knows nothing about you." I saw something flicker in his eyes, at me mentioning his homosexuality. "What?" I questioned quickly.

"I think I might have misled you, Brooke." Seeing my confused expression, he continued slowly. "You had always thought that I was gay, so I didn't really try to persuade you otherwise." He hesitated and said, "I didn't go away because I was afraid everyone thought that I was gay. I went away because I really did get some girl pregnant. And when I say girl, I really mean girl. I--- um, I'm not really gay, Brooke. In fact I'm pretty much the most hetero person in the world."

I shook my head and said, "Wait, wait just one fucking minute. You told me that you were gay. You said you were leaving because of your secret. You said this to my fucking face, Ryan!" I saw him wince and try to open his mouth, but I cut him off. "No, I get to talk. It's my fucking time to talk. You stood there, and what? Just lied to me? We talked about this yesterday, and you did nothing to try and correct me. Why in the world would you ever do this? When we were together you TOLD me that the reason why we broke it off was because you were---"

"Brooke, what was I suppose to say, that I was afraid of you sexually but not physically. I didn't want to have sex with you! It was _you_ that I didn't want to have sex with. I loved Brooke the person, but Brooke the sex addict wasn't very fun for me. I was a virgin, and you sure as hell weren't. My god Brooke you slept with my brother before me. He told me everything. You really think I wanted to try and compete with all of these guys?" He saw my wince, and tried to apologize.

I lifted my hand, to shut him up, and walked away. I could hear him shout my name, and for me to stop, but I've had it. Why do people have to lie? With a growl I stomped back inside Tric.

-----------v----------

I must have gotten lost or something because I was walking down this scummy hallway. I heard laughter in one of the rooms, so I decided to check it out. The door was already kind of open, so I just opened it some more. No one really noticed except for this one guy. I'm not going to lie, he was pretty hot. He had the whole dirty Johnny Depp thing going on. From across the room, you could see his bright green eyes. They were amazing.

He motioned me in with a hand, and I followed. He patted the pillow on the floor next to him, and I sat on it. He was the puppeteer and I was his puppet.

He pulled out a small baggie filled with a white powder and asked, "You ever see this before?" With a nod of my head he continued. "You know how this is done?" With a shake of my head he proceeded to show me. After sniffing it all up, he goes, "Hey girl, you wanna try some?"

I didn't know what to say. I looked around and noticed that all of the beautiful girls were using it, and they looked fantastic. With a small smile, I said, "Why not?"

Finally there was something else I could control. My weight was my own, my social status was my own, now I can finally control what I was feeling, and I only needed some white substance to make it all feel better. That and this amazing stranger next to me.

----------v----------

A couple of hours had passed and Tric was about to close. The JD (Johnny Depp) guy turned to me and asked, "You wanna get out of here? We can head over to my place." I nodded and got up with the help of his hand. I didn't want to lose this.

As we started to leave, hands linked, one of the guys shouted over to JD and said, "See you later Cal." Hmmm Cal… nice name.

Just as we were about to go outside, the door to Tric opened up, and who else but Nathan and bitch brigade came out. I saw Nate notice Cal's and my hand linked, and scoffed. With a sneer, he said to Cal, "Watch out man, you never know what kind of diseases this chick could have."

Unlinking our hands, I thought he had actually listened to Nathan. He just put his arm around my waist, and slid the tips of his fingers under the waist of my skirt. "I got her from here, man. I'll look out for her. Can't blame her for attracting others though, she's a cutie. You ready to head on over to my place, darlin'?" I just started to giggle and nodded my head. With a tough smirk, he said to Nathan, "Don't you just love them willing and silent. Come on, baby." With that he turned us around, and walked out of the building with me stumbling on the way. His hand was still skimming the surface of my skirt. I didn't notice pretty much of anything, especially Nathan's worried face. I didn't want to either.

----------v----------

Cal's apartment wasn't all that bad actually. The walk over to it, sobered me up a little, but still left me with a chilled type of high. He had a big flat, almost like a studio but it had a couple of extending rooms. He threw his keys on the counter and turned towards me. With a smile I asked, "Wanna show me around?" He chuckled a little.

"Well, here is the kitchen; over there is the living room." He then took us down a couple of steps to a hallway. "The bedroom on the right is the guest room, this one on the left is the bathroom, and all the way down here is… my room." I could tell he paused. He looked up, and I noticed what he wanted.

Grabbing his hand, I pulled into the room all of the way down. He followed with one of the biggest smiles. I already fucked over my life, might as well keep going.

----------v----------

"Did you bring the condoms?" I breathed out. I may be a slut, but I'm not a dirty slut.

He lifted his head up from one of my breasts and asked, "Are you serious?"

Why does he make me so unsure? I was always the most confident person at Tree Hill, but with spending all of this time with Calvin; it was like that all melted down.

"Baby, you know I wanna be protected." With a roll of his eyes, he got up and went over to where he kept most of his stuff at my house.

That night at Tric, escalated into a full fledge affair. You never see me at my house anymore, usually just at his apartment. I basically moved in. We were only in my room today, because his brother had a date and needed a place to bring her.

Our relationship wasn't romantic at all. It was based on sex and of course drugs. He was the best supplier in the entire town, and I was just his arm candy. But you know, I'm fine with that. I never want to be in the same situation I was with before. With Calvin, it's expected that he would sleep with girls. That's the only way that can pay him off; I'm fine with that, just as long as we use condoms.

School was just school. I'm ignored daily of course, with maybe the exception of Haley and Peyton. But with those two, I try and ignore them. It isn't fun to be explaining my entire life day after day, so I try to stay clear. I hang out with some of Cal's friends. They're pretty nice to me actually so, I have nothing to complain about. Usually they come over for a party at Cal's house and the next day we all chill together in the court yard.

All in all the Brooke everyone else knew was wiped off of the face of the planet. It was replaced with a new chiller type of person. I'm not angry all of the time, I no longer have to keep up the rich girl presence anymore. I'm just Brooke. Broken Brooke.

I closed my eyes to that thought. I'm not broken anymore. Cal's helping me fix myself. I can't be broken if no one is there breaking me.

My thoughts skyrocket over to Nathan and Ryan. Nathan returned over to his old self. I know for a fact that he's sleeping around. I eavesdropped on Bevin and Theresa and they were gossiping about how they both got to score with Nate. Well good for him. Ryan. Well he left pretty much after Tric. We had a conversation the day before he left, and let me tell you, it wasn't pleasant at all.

"_Why are you acting like this, Brooke?" He asked me._

"_Like what, Ryan? Like you fucking torn my heart out and stomped on it, and spread all of your lies on it?"_

"_What the fuck are you saying? You never make sense anymore. I meant why are you still hanging out with that Cal guy? He's bad news, Brooke; you shouldn't even be near him."_

_I scoffed and pushed past him, at school. "You know nothing about the situation, Ryan, so shut your fucking mouth. Why do you go knock up your baby's mama again, and then.. Ooo I know what you can do. You can leave again. What a great idea." Yea I knew that I didn't make any sense but I took a little of Cal's new concoction that morning. I was allowed to be confusing._

_By this time, we started to attract a crowd. And of course a crowd isn't perfect without the Scott brothers, and their bitches._

"_Brooke you need to just calm down---"_

_I interrupted him by shouting, "I don't need to calm down. What I need is for you leave me alone, and to never speak to me again. What I need is for everyone to stop staring at me like I was the latest exhibit at a fucking zoo!" I screamed to everyone that circled us. Some left, but the majority just stayed there._

_From the corner of my eye, I saw Lucas and Nathan talking._

_I whipped around, and started to yell at them. "Well if it isn't the brother Scotts. What are you two doing here? Looking to score with Brookie again? Bah, not fucking likely. Why don't you two just scram and take your little sluts with you. I don't need you either."_

_Lucas looked hurt, but Nathan was just stone faced as usual._

_Placing a fake pout on my lips, I said to Nathan in baby talk, "Awe, what's the matter Natey-watey? Not happy that I've moved on…Again! Well I have, so you can go and do someone else. I'm threw with you and your cheating self. Have a nice life."_

_With that I started to turn around. That is until Nathan opened his mouth. "You really want to talk about cheating Brooke? Who did I find in bed with this little pussy over there? Oh, yea, it was you. I never cheated on you Brooke. I'm not like you."_

_I looked into Ryan's eyes, and saw that he wasn't proud of himself. As I walked up to him, I said, "Thanks a lot, Ryan." loud enough so Nathan could hear, and flung the arm that tried to hold onto me, off. "You better run away, as soon and as fast as you can, because you won't like the present I have for you."_

Then I just walked away, and haven't spoken to Luke, Nate or Ryan since.

That was about a month ago, and my entire life has changed.

My thoughts were ripped away from me, as Calvin, crawled up my body to reattach his lips to my nipple. With a sigh, I arched into him. He wasn't as good as Nathan, or as big as Tim, but Cal was a masterpiece. His body was so sculpted you couldn't help but stare. His eyes were so piercing you couldn't help but look away. You were always constantly in a battle, and it felt amazing.

My body shook as I felt him slide one of his fingers into my core. I was so hot and moist; he didn't need any help getting two more in. Cal started creating more of a suction to my breast and I about died. He lifted his other hand and placed it on my other breast. As he squeezed, I could feel my orgasm approaching. I placed my hand on his head, and gasped out, "I'm, going, to, cum." With that, he withdrew his fingers, and replaced them with his cock. He thrusted in and out, with the most agility and grace.

My hands flew to his back, and my nails grabbed on. I had just taken some kind of pill that Cal gave me, and with him inside of me, I thought that I was going to pass out, it felt so good.

When Cal has sex, he turns into this type of primitive animal, and I do everything that he says. So when he grunted out, turn over, I did exactly what he wanted. He slid out of me, I turned over with my ass in the air and my head on the pillow, and he slid right back in. He grabbed a hold of my hips and I knew that this was going to be a wild ride. He plunged me right into the bed, and I couldn't do anything except for gasp out in pleasure. His thrusts had turned into hard and deep and I knew his climax was coming soon. He reached his hand under my body, and started to rub my clit. With all of his weight on my body, and his dick constantly rubbing against my G Spot, I came. Cal came at the same time.

He always wanted me to come before him, I think it has to do with masculinity.

He slid out of me, and got rid of the condom, and laid back down on the bed. I was still on my stomach, but I let my legs relax, and let my ass go down. He flung his arm around my hips, and softly brushed my side. His hand ran up my side, and felt every rib bone.

I knew he was thinking about my weight issues. He doesn't like how I look like some poor child from a third world country, his words not mine. I just think he doesn't want people to think that he can't feed me. I just relieved his worries by just telling him that as long as I look good in public why even think about it? I'm fine, and no one else notices.

With a kiss on my shoulder, he mumbled good night, and fell asleep.

I could never go to sleep. It was like the one downfall to taking Cal's pills. But they make me feel good, so what's the problem, right?

With a large sigh, I turned over, with my back to my partner, and closed my eyes. I opened my eyes right away. What great freaking luck, I had spent the past weeks trying to get my mind off of Nathan, and here he was, haunting my mind. With another sigh, I turned over on my back. Damn it all to hell and back again.

----------v----------

I was always up earlier than Calvin. I had school to go to, and his work didn't start until dark. I was getting out of the shower, when my cell rang. I rushed into the bedroom to answer it before it disturbed Cal, but I was too late.

I paused at the doorway, when I noticed that he was flipped it open to check on who was calling. I knew right away it was someone he didn't want talking to me. He roughly closed it, and threw it at the wall right next to me.

I jumped, and quickly went to get it.

"Leave the fucking thing." I had no choice but to do what he said.

He flung the sheets off of him, and stomped into the bathroom. I heard him slamming and slinging things around in there.

It wasn't something new. If he didn't get his morning fix, he was a little crabby.

"Brooke, where the fuck did you put my syringes?" I winced. Why did he want to do the hard stuff right away? With a soft sigh, I answered, "I'll get them for you." And walked over to my dresser. I retrieved them, and tiptoed to the doorway. I said softly "Here you go." And handed it to him. Well actually it was more him grabbing it from me, and slamming the door shut. I jumped yet again, and closed my eyes. Why couldn't we start off with a good morning? I walked back to my dresser, and got my clothes out.

I just finished zipping up my jeans, when he stumbled out of the bathroom. I turned around to grab my book bag when his sharp voice stopped me.

"Leave that here; I have something else for you to do." At first I thought he wanted me to go drive him somewhere. He proved me wrong, when he grabbed the keys from my hand, and started pushing me out the door.

Why do I always screw up?

----------v----------

He slammed the brakes right in front of some dilapidated motel. He got out, went around the car, and opened my door.

"Let's go." Was all that he said. I went to open my mouth and ask him why we were there, when he grabbed the top part of my arm, roughly.

He was practically pulling me the entire way. We finally stopped at room 14. Cal only had to knock once, for the person on the other end to open the door.

My first impression of him was that he desperately needed a shower. His long greasy hair fell into his face; covering was looked to be a pretty deep cut. I gasped when he looked up at me. His eyes portrayed pure evil. It scared the crap out of me.

"This her?" He asked with a rough voice. I looked up to Calvin, and he just nodded and replied, "You have the stuff?"

The stranger held out his hand, and gave Cal a look at what was in the clear package. "This good enough?" Cal just smiled.

I froze. He was trading me for fucking drugs. I whispered, "Cal what are you doing?" He just tightened his grasp on my arm. "Cal, why don't we just go home?" This time he shoved his face in mine, and whispered, "Shut the fuck up." My eyes widened immediately. Who was this guy? This wasn't the guy that was so sweet, and caring that he made your heart melt.

We were interrupted by the stranger laughing hysterical. "She has a mouth on her, huh? Well I'll make sure to put it to good use. Give her over."

Cal just shoved me towards the guy, and took the baggie from the guy's hand. With a lift of his eyebrow, he started to walk away, but not before he said, "Have a good time, Brookie."

"So, Brooke, is that your name?" I just stared at him. He opened the door, and led the two of us in his room. What I saw surprised the hell out of me. Around seven guys were in there, one had a listening device on, and the others were working on paperwork. The greasy-haired guy turned to me pealed off the fake cut on his face, and offered his hand. "Brooke Davis, my name is Officer Daniel Lewis. And you just helped put that guy in jail."

All I could hear was my heart beat…beat…beat…beat…beat…

**A.N.: I hope you all liked this one. Now don't be worried, this is going to always be a Brathan story, just not a typical one.**

**Love you lots,  
****Meghan**


	13. Me First

**Gifts and Curses**

Chapter 13: Me First

_We'll leave this shit behind  
Our moms, our dads, our lives  
Leave them all back there  
Leave it back without a care  
Friends and families too  
Leave them back at home with you  
Checking out of our home town  
Gonna make it somehow_

"Me First" - Yellowcard

----------v----------

Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. Brooke makes mistakes, it's what she does, but they aren't usually this huge. Can she escape from this one unharmed, or will she permanently ruin everything that she has once loved and cherished?

----------v----------

We finally stopped at room 14. Cal only had to knock once, for the person on the other end to open the door.

My first impression of him was that he desperately needed a shower. His long greasy hair fell into his face; covering what looked to be a pretty deep cut. I gasped when he looked up at me. His eyes portrayed pure evil. It scared the crap out of me.

"This her?" He asked with a rough voice. I looked up to Calvin, and he just nodded and replied, "You have the stuff?"

The stranger held out his hand, and gave Cal a look at what was in the clear package. "This good enough?" Cal just smiled.

I froze. He was trading me for fucking drugs. I whispered, "Cal what are you doing?" He just tightened his grasp on my arm. "Cal, why don't we just go home?" This time he shoved his face in mine, and whispered, "Shut the fuck up." My eyes widened immediately. Who was this guy? This wasn't the guy that was so sweet, and caring that he made your heart melt.

We were interrupted by the stranger laughing hysterical. "She has a mouth on her, huh? Well I'll make sure to put it to good use. Give her over."

Cal just shoved me towards the guy, and took the baggie from the guy's hand. With a lift of his eyebrow, he started to walk away, but not before he said, "Have a good time, Brookie."

"So, Brooke, is that your name?" I just stared at him. He opened the door, and led the two of us in his room. What I saw surprised the hell out of me. Around seven guys were in there, one had a listening device on, and the others were working on paperwork. The greasy-haired guy turned to me pealed off the fake cut on his face, and offered his hand. "Brooke Davis, my name is Officer Daniel Lewis. And you just helped put that guy in jail."

All I could hear was my heart beat…beat…beat…beat…beat…

----------v----------

My trip to the police station seemed to go on forever. I had to write, and sign, and audio record, and visually identify Calvin. It seems as if North Carolina's police department were looking for him for awhile. Just my luck, huh? I mean why did he have to seduce me? Now? Karma is a serious bitch.

At that moment, I was waiting for somebody, anybody to come back and tell me if I was allowed to leave or not. I mean I had read every leaflet there; some were about runaways, some about prostitution, and some about illegal substances. I shook my head when I thought about that last one. I had gotten so lucky tonight. If it weren't for Cal trying to sell me to the police officer, I would have gotten charged with a huge sentence. That's all that I need. I am already in a terrible ordeal with everyone else; I don't need this on my case.

As I was reading one of those Reader Digest things, I heard a cough, and my head shot up immediately. When I saw who it was, my eyes widened. Coming from an usual smirk, Dan Scott asked, no ordered, "Come with me, I'll get everything settled out."

What choice did I have but to follow him? We were a couple feet from the Sheriff's office, when Mr. Scott had stopped. He turned to me, casually, and said, "You tell nobody about this, okay Miss Davis? Not my son, not that blonde friend of yours, nobody. And don't expect me to get you out of every mess that you make, either."

With that he continued on his way, and knocked on the door. With a confirmation, we went in, and I watched the entire show begin.

I was in complete shock. Dan Scott was actually nice to me, and to top it all off, he was defending me. My thoughts were interrupted by Dan's rising tone.

"He was clearly taking advantage of her! She had just lost her parents, and that leech decides that he could get a few thousand out of her. Before that piece of shit even entered Tree Hill, Brooke Davis was on the Honor Role, captain of the cheerleading squad, and an active participant in the community. Do you really think that she would willingly enter into that circle of hell? If you don't let her leave this instant, Joe, you're going to have to deal with my lawyer. You do remember who that is, don't you?" He ended with yet again, his usual smirk.

The sheriff hesitated, and then cleared his throat. He slowly turned back to me, and said lowly, "Have a great rest of the evening, Miss Davis." With that he turned to the paperwork on his desk, and started to read.

Dan and I both rose from our seats and walked out of the office. Outside, in the hallway, I turned to him with a questioning expression. He just chuckled. "Nathan seemed to have a soft spot for you once, Brooke. He doesn't need anything to take him from basketball. So from now on, don't make any scenes, and don't distract him." With that he walked down to the front lobby, and reached the door, but not before saying, "I'll see you in my office tomorrow at 3:45." And left.

Did I just sell my soul to the devil?

----------v-----------

A.N.: So sorry that I was so late!!! HUGE HUGS AND BIG KISSES to those that review!


	14. Grey

**Gifts and Curses**

Chapter 14: Grey

_Grey skies clouding up the things we used to see with wide eyes  
Maybe everything was meant to be this way  
Will it ever change  
Or are we stuck here on our own _

It's all gone grey  
It's all gone grey

I found telling you the truth the hardest thing to get out  
I know it wasn't you that made me feel this way  
Will it ever change  
Or are we stuck here on our own.

And give it one more try  
I don't know if I would stay  
I feel so much better now  
And baby begging me  
Will leave you so empty inside  
So you shouldn't even try

I know every last regret inside of me is my own  
The way I hold them close has made me be this way  
I will never change  
I know I'm stuck here on my own, my own

"Grey" - Yellowcard

----------v----------

Disclaimer: I own nothing except some of the story line… This is definitely going to turn into Brathan. Brooke and Lucas were going out, but then he cheated on her with Haley, Brooke's best friend. Brooke makes mistakes, it's what she does, but they aren't usually this huge. Now that she turned everyone away from her, will Brooke have to resort to Dan to have a normal life?

----------v----------

_I was in complete shock. Dan Scott was actually nice to me, and to top it all off, he was defending me. My thoughts were interrupted by Dan's rising tone._

"_He was clearly taking advantage of her! She had just lost her parents, and that leech decides that he could get a few thousand out of her. Before that piece of shit even entered Tree Hill, Brooke Davis was on the Honor Role, captain of the cheerleading squad, and an active participant in the community. Do you really think that she would willingly enter into that circle of hell? If you don't let her leave this instant, Joe, you're going to have to deal with my lawyer. You do remember who that is, don't you?" He ended with yet again, his usual smirk._

_The sheriff hesitated, and then cleared his throat. He slowly turned back to me, and said lowly, "Have a great rest of the evening, Miss Davis." With that he turned to the paperwork on his desk, and started to read._

_Dan and I both rose from our seats and walked out of the office. Outside, in the hallway, I turned to him with a questioning expression. He just chuckled. "Nathan seemed to have a soft spot for you once, Brooke. He doesn't need anything to take him from basketball. So from now on, don't make any scenes, and don't distract him." With that he walked down to the front lobby, and reached the door, but not before saying, "I'll see you in my office tomorrow at 3:45." And left._

_Did I just sell my soul to the devil?_

----------v----------

Did I say the devil? I mean the bane in my existence! Dan Scott must be the most evil man in the entire world, and for some reason I can't get rid of him. Everywhere I turn, he's there lurking!! I wondered out of school one day, okay so I was really trying to skip class, but whatever, so I go around the corner, and there he was… parked next to my fucking car! I mean I understand if he just needed a place to park, but he was leaning against his car like he KNEW what I was going to do, before I ever did. And he of course found out my cell phone number, and leaves these really cryptic messages on my voice-mail.

However, it seems like he's the only person that ever waits for me anymore. And I know for a fact, that he's the only one calling my cell nowadays. Ain't that a sad thing? So I made my choice, and decided to help the dev-erm I mean Dan. It couldn't be that bad, right?? I mean I fell in love with Nathan, so he has to have some sort of gentleness to him… I hope.

The last message he left me was about me getting a job over at his office. He said that now that I didn't have Cal with me anymore and that my parents aren't around any longer, and that I would need to bring in some sort of income myself. I fully agreed with him, not that I actually told him that to his face, but I just wasn't certain on working with him five days a week. And plus, what if Nathan comes in to see his dad… not very likely mind you, but with my luck, you never know. But on the other hand, he's going to pay a lot, and I really DO need money. Sigh… what's a girl to do?? Hmmm maybe I should find another abusive drug addict, and see if they want to be my sugar daddy. Pfft.

----------v----------

"Did you think about what I've asked?"

"Of course."  
"And…?"

"Well… there has to be some sort of agreement between the two of…"

"Now, Miss Davis, I thought we did have an agreement. For you to trust me. So far, I have been beyond generous. I mean I've given you some money to live. I stopped you from getting arrested alongside your boyfriend. And I'm offering you a job, so you can live more than comfortably. I could call the sheriff back, and tell him about that suspicious looking small baggie of white powder I found in your car the other day. Hmm, wouldn't that just look smashing on your record? Perhaps, I can also advise the sheriff to think about a season of rehab? Hmm? Won't that fashion school love to read about that?"

All that I could respond with was a sigh.

"Do you not agree, Miss Davis?"

"Yes, sir."

"And your decision about working for me, Miss Davis?"

"… … When do I start, sir?"

Fuck!! He seriously has me by my non-existent balls, and I can do nothing about it. I gave him a small smile. I guess I might as well make this a little pleasant.

"Well, since you seem to be dressed for the occasion, how about right now? You don't have anything else to do, correct?" He responded, as if he really cared about my answer. Thank God I'm not on the squad anymore. Not like he'd accept that as an excuse.

"Sounds good, sir." By the end of this week, I'm going to throw up if I have to say the word 'sir' again. Sigh… Sigh again. Life is going to suck… majorly.

----------v----------

Leper. Such an interesting term, huh? I saw on this one _Monk_ episode, that lepersy wasn't contagious, but then why has everyone ignored me. It's like I'm a fucking pariah!! Walking down the hallways at school, is like some wild west showdown between my old friends and me. Old friends. Wow. I remember growing up thinking that the first time I would ever say 'old friends' would be when I was in my forties. It's scary how things change so quickly. Haley was supposed to be my Maid of Honor at Lucas' and my wedding, and by then her and Nathan were supposed to have had babies, and they were supposed to be the ring bearer and flower girl. Now I'm going to grow up dry and shriveled. Wonderful.

I could also be like those women on _Sex and the City_. They're pretty old and they still have sex! Oooo and they live in the city! Yeah but that's fictional. And life… so isn't. Fuck. Maybe I should have married Mouth already. He'd treat me right. And he's too kind to cheat on me. Or call me a slut. Or get me addicted to drugs. Or sell me off for said drugs. Or blackmail me into doing all of his bidding. He'd treat me right. But sometimes I wonder if he isn't fictional as well. I mean how can a guy be that sincerely nice?

Gah!! I have to stop with this depressive shit. It needs to go away.. Like woah!

Hmm.. I've never noticed that the walk to my locker was so long, until today. Note to self: use money from Dan to buy you a new iPod… ooo the pink one! End Note.

As I finally ended up at my locker, I noticed something strange about it. It looked like a piece of paper was sticking out. God, what now? Some hater sending me some more hate mail? Losers. I swiveled my combo in, and as I opened the door, it fell on the ground. Kneeling down and picking it up, I noticed that it didn't have any newspaper letters on it, or some weird cryptic lettering. Sighing, I read it. **"I'm sorry. -Lucas" **… Okay? So why was my ex-boy toy sending me notes, in my locker no less? I looked around real quick, making sure nobody was playing any practical jokes on me… again. Seeing nothing strange, I looked back at the note. Sorry for what? For cheating on me? For treating me like crap? For abandoning me? For having his weirdo dad take over my life? I don't need his 'sorry's.

Crumbling up his note, I started to walk away. Stopping for like two seconds, I decided against my decision of throwing it out. I flattened it out, and folded it in half, and put it in my back pocket. Hearing the warning bell, I shuffled off to class.

----------v----------

That was the heaviest piece of paper ever. Through all of my classes, all I could think of were those three words. Fucktard. I mean how dare he?!!

I rushed out of school, not feeling like being part of everyone's attention, and headed straight to my car. I slowed down, and saw what looked to be another note, but under my windshield wiper. Great. I grabbed it quit and jumped into my car. There inside, I opened it up. My face fell right away after I read what it said. **"2:50. My house. -D" **

Fuck. Double fuck. Dan is now traveling away from voicemails to little love notes. Looking down, I saw that I had less than ten minutes to get to his house, so I booked it over there. I hurried and slammed my car door shut when I reached his driveway. Shoving my purse on my shoulder, I ran up to the steps, and opened his door. No way was I ever going to wait on his stoop for him to let me in. Negative!!! I went straight to his office, and sat in the chair right in front of his desk. His eyebrows went up, but didn't say really much of anything.

We sat there for about five minutes until he got up, and went around his desk to sit on it in front of me. I couldn't really get much from his expression. I know it's not his usual smug face, however.

"Are you ever going to stop, Brooke?" That caught my attention. My head shot up. Not only was he not sarcastic but he used my first name. I still didn't understand the question though.

"What do you mean?" Clearly puzzled.

"What do I mean. What I mean is, are you ever going to stop playing fucking games with your life?" That definitely caught my attention. He was angry, but I've never seen him this angry, ever.

"Look, I still don't understand, so if you're not going to explain, then why am I still here?"

He gives a chuckle to that. As if he has some fucking comedian inside his skull telling jokes.

"What a great question. Why _are_ you still here? I thought that after Cal basically sold your body off like some common whore, you would change a few things. But no, I checked up on you, and guess who still is keeping her nose busy? Ding, ding!!! Ran out of time. You!"

I just sat there with a shocked expression. I mean what do you say to that?

"I keep giving you opportunity after opportunity! And you keep fucking up! How much money would it take for you to stop using?? Hmm? Because obviously the pure need to stay alive isn't working with you. Do I have to monitor you every step of the way? Because you know I will. Answer me!"

I have never, and I mean this honestly, ever seen him this angry with a person. Usually he's just ticked off that he isn't the big guy in a situation, but this time he seems sincerely pissed off.

"I didn't think that you… that you um…well to be honest… cared about that." My answer still carried a question mark at the end, and I could tell he was disappointed with my reply.

"Well I care that the money that I'm going is going straight from my hand and up your nose. I'm paying for you to eat, and to live comfortably. Not tweeked out in the back of some guys car, willing to do anything for some more smack."

What. The. Fuck.

"You've been spying on me?!!!" I shouted at him. This has gone too far.

"You're damn right I've been spying on you! What you think I would just hand my money away, just like that? Please, you're addicted, Brooke. It's been almost three weeks after that incident, and for some reason I thought that after everything you've been through, that you might change a few things. Now I see that I'm wrong. So what do I have to do to try and save you?"

"…"

"…"

Silence can be deadly.

----------v----------

A.N.: Sorrry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X 292845793485349874. I feel so bad.. Its been forever since I wrote.. But there has been many, many, many reasons!! The biggest being that my laptop exploded on me!! It was sad.. We had to have a burial. And I just got Vista.. And it sucks major balls!! Gah!!!! Sniff Sniff Hopefully you enjoyed this brand spanking new chappie. I don't know if I'm going to write another one tonight.. But soon!!! I'm leaving for my mom's house in Florida the 16th and I wont be back until the 30th. I havent decided if I was going to bring my lappy… we shall see… Ooo how amazing was the Brooke vs. Derek vs. Peyton fight… epic!!! 3

Here's a sneak peek for chapter 15:

_He wasn't that bad. Calling him the devil was a little drastic. I mean he's here trying to save the rest of my pitiful existence. The least I could do is follow some rules._

_-v-_

"_Hey man, isn't that Brooke with your dad?? Since when do they hang out??"_

_-v-_

_Looking into his eyes, I see a hauntingly familiar resemblance to Nathan. Shaking my head, I whispered, "What's wrong with me? He's old enough to be your father." Looking back up, I saw him standing in the same spot I left him. I rushed over and said, "Fuck it."_


End file.
